The first smartphone was released in 1992. By then year 2020 there may be as many as 2.5 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In my opinion, the use of smartphones is increasing our intelligence because all

information

Correct article usage

the information

show examples

we want to know can be found

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the internet.

However

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

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increasing intelligence is not

align

Wrong verb form

aligned

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with

the

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apply

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productivity. With

the

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apply

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smart devices, many of us

reliant

Add a missing verb

are reliant

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that

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

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For

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example, you can turn on and off the lamp with your voice, you can clean the house without

you need

Wrong verb form

needing

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to move. The other negative thing, we should filter the information we get to prevent

hoax

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hoaxes

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and fraud. Many of us

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are

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unaware

with

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our information.

Submitted by gabriellaa.vanesya on Tue Dec 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Make sure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Develop your paragraphs effectively, ensuring each has a clear main idea and that ideas are sequenced logically.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction needs to more clearly present the topic and your position on the matter. Ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes the points made without introducing new information.

task achievement

Provide clear and relevant examples and reasons to support your arguments. Develop your ideas further to fully engage with the question and demonstrate an in-depth understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

91 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

collective intelligence
reliant on technology
problem-solving
problem-solving
cognitive skills
critical thinking
knowledge acquisition
connectivity
knowledge sharing
cognitive overload
memory retention
brain-training apps
digital literacy
multitask
attention span

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The first smartphone was released in 1992. By then year 2020 there may be as many as 2.5 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

People have differing views with regard to the question of how to make our roads safer. In my view, both punishments and a range of other measures can be used together to promote better driving habits.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. What extent do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world?