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Band 4

The first smartphone was released in 1992. By then year 2020 there may be as many as 2.5 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#first #smartphone #year #billion #smartphones #world #intelligence #technology #minds
In my opinion, the use of smartphones is increasing our intelligence because all
information
Correct article usage
the information
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 we want to know can be found
in
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on
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 the internet.
However
,
the
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apply
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increasing intelligence is not
align
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aligned
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 with
the
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apply
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productivity. With
the
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apply
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smart devices, many of us
reliant
Add a missing verb
are reliant
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 on
that
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them
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.
In
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For
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 example, you can turn on and off the lamp with your voice, you can clean the house without
you need
Wrong verb form
needing
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 to move. The other negative thing, we should filter the information we get to prevent
hoax
Fix the agreement mistake
hoaxes
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 and fraud. Many of us
is
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are
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 unaware
with
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of
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 our information.
Submitted by gabriellaa.vanesya on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Develop your paragraphs effectively, ensuring each has a clear main idea and that ideas are sequenced logically.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction needs to more clearly present the topic and your position on the matter. Ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes the points made without introducing new information.
task achievement
Provide clear and relevant examples and reasons to support your arguments. Develop your ideas further to fully engage with the question and demonstrate an in-depth understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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