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Band 4

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
Science
 is a really important aim for society to improve themselves and has given us so many things to learn . I agree with
this
 statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because it has helped us a lot in life and at work . In
this
 essay, I will explain why. First of all,
science
 has been there for a long time and it’s improving every day.
Science
 has played a significant role in reducing human suffering, especially in fields like medicine. Scientific research has contributed to improvements in healthcare that have resulted in the creation of treatments vaccines, and tests that have greatly increased in growth for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 . The health of families and communities is directly benefited by
this
 use of scientific knowledge in real-world situations.
Science
 has provided us with great things .
Moreover
,
science
 has helped us so much and
Although
 we know many topics that are related to
science
, we still have a long distance to achieve everything. Students can learn
science
 in school or university and learn how important
science
 is in real life . In conclusion to improve education people must know how important is
science
 in real life through school, university or social media. In
this
 way, we can improve our environment.
Submitted by mahshidmirzaei2016 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presented lacks a clear and coherent structure which is essential for establishing logical flow and connecting ideas effectively. Introduction and conclusion are present but do not strongly articulate the essay's position. Main points need better development and more explicit connections between them.
task achievement
To adequately respond to the task, it's important to fully address the prompt. The essay partially agrees with the statement but fails to provide a full argument with appropriate examples supporting each point. The response needs to be expanded upon with clear comprehensive ideas and precise examples that directly relate to the statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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