IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

An increased number of people today change their careers and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #change #careers #places #lives #development
Nowadays, most people tend to change their professions and residences in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In my opinion, there are many benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 doing it. I will discuss my viewpoint in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, one reason
supports
Correct pronoun usage
that supports
show examples
 the idea is the expanding social relationship of not only new colleagues but
also
 new
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
For example
,an accountant converting to a teacher is a significant change. If before they only worked in the office, now they have a chance to communicate with a number of students and other teachers.
That is
also
 the reason why their psychology and worldview
changes
Correct subject-verb agreement
change
show examples
 more positively.
Secondly
, it helps them acquire more knowledge and skills, especially adaptive skills. In the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 market today, the dismissal of personnel has a tendency to increase.
Additionally
, A person who can work many different jobs
alway
Correct your spelling
always
 has more priority. They are confident and independent when changing their career or habitation.
However
, with regard to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
introverted people,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will have difficulty integrating into new places. They will be easy to In conclusion, I believe that there are a lot of positive developments if people change their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 and living places. It’s the time to prepare knowledge and
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 to adapt to the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 after that.
Submitted by ntl250605 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include a clear introduction that presents the topic of the essay and your opinion or thesis statement.
task achievement
Ensure that you provide a thorough and logical conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas thoroughly and support them with relevant, detailed examples.
task achievement
Be sure to answer all parts of the prompt and ensure that your response is complete and fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Avoid abrupt endings and ensure that all paragraphs are well-developed and complete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: