IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams represent information in Edmonton about transport and car use.

The diagrams represent information in Edmonton about transport and car use.
While
Linking Words
 the
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart shows the percentage of using various commuting means, the table graph demonstrates the related causes of using
cars
Use synonyms
 by the locals of Edmonton.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie chart, there are four types of transportation which are
cars
Use synonyms
, buses, LRT, and taxis.
Overall
Linking Words
, after a thorough analysis of both diagrams, it can be plainly viewed that
whereas
Linking Words
cars
Use synonyms
 come in the first place as the most commonly used automobiles to transport, taxis come
last
Linking Words
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, going to work is the most frequent cause
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 use
Use synonyms
cars
Change preposition
of cars
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 by individuals in that town. In the beginning concerning the pie graph, the percentage of using
cars
Use synonyms
 to travel is extremely high
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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hit
Wrong verb form
hitting
show examples
 45%, followed by percentage of the light rail trains that
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 second with 35% as the main transportation method.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, buses,
as well as
Linking Words
, taxis score 10 per cent equally.
Moreover
Linking Words
, moving to the table chart, it is worth noticing that
while
Linking Words
 commuting to work is the most popular reason to use
cars
Use synonyms
 which registers 55%, shopping and leisure activities come in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 place with 15% for both.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that
according to
Linking Words
 the provided data, business and taking children to school are
also
Linking Words
 popular reasons to use automobile vehicles which hit 45% and 40%, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, last, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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