IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? Give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.

It is often argued that the development of technology
such
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 as a computer, and the internet will replace traditional sources of
information
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such
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 as a book and handwritten
information
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. I believe in
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 machines and
World
Correct article usage
the World
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 Wide Web will potentially replace paper
books
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 and the written word because they offer convenience and accessibility.
This
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 essay will discuss the same with my reasons in detail with relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, a computer has made
people
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 's lives easy in all spheres of life.
That is
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 to say that, with the help of
this
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 invention, the masses have managed to speed up their business operation
,
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apply
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 and organise all of their
information
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 in a very accessible manner compared to the traditional disorganised handwritten file systems which are highly challenging for them to maintain.
Furthermore
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, it is evident that
people
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 are being more productive and efficient than before which in turn aids them to save their valuable office time.
For instance
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, a recent study shows that employees are more comfortable working with computers as it saves more time and effort in managing their routine tasks which helps them achieve a great work-life balance .
Therefore
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, it is definite that writing by hand will become less significant in the future.
Additionally
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, the internet has provided
people
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 with a chance to access an endless supply of knowledge articles.
In other words
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, I must say that online has provided an
endles
Correct your spelling
endless
 supply of a vast library of
books
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 which they can read
while
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 on their commute or during breaks or travelling.
Moreover
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, they can download
such
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books
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 on their smart readers
such
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 as tablets,and laptops which lowers the need to carry bulky paper
books
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.
For example
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, in India, many publishers reported that their businesses declined because educational institutions had changed their teaching methods to online learning using the World Wide Web. In conclusion, some proponents claim that technological inventions
such
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 as the computer and access to web facilities may reduce the need for handwritten
information
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, and physical
books
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. I believe that it is possible because
such
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 developments significantly improved the lives of
people
Use synonyms
 with more accessibility and convenience.

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. Although your introduction and conclusion were present, they could be more focused and directly address the essay prompt.
Supported Main Points
Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea effectively, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. Some main points were less developed and required further elaboration and clearer supporting examples.
Logical Structure
Strive to maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately and effectively to help with the flow of the essay. While the logical structure was generally clear, transitions could be smoother and linkages between ideas could be strengthened.
Complete Response
Fully address all parts of the task. Provide a clear response to the question, and ensure that your essay discusses potential developments and their implications thoroughly. Include specific examples that are relevant to your points, which will enhance your argument and provide a stronger task achievement.
Clear, Comprehensive Ideas
Make sure your ideas are clear and easily understood. It is not only about including clear ideas but also explaining them comprehensively within the context of the topic. While your ideas were clear, they could be further expanded with additional detail and depth.
Relevant, Specific Examples
Use specific, detailed examples that are relevant to your argument. These examples should convincingly support your points and be closely related to the topic of the essay. Some examples provided were relevant, but they could be more detailed and specific to the argument you are making.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • replace
  • main source
  • information
  • modern technology
  • internet
  • computers
  • knowledge
  • learning
  • physical books
  • reliable
  • quick access
  • speed
  • students
  • workers
  • e-books
  • convenience
  • stored
  • devices
  • false information
  • reliable
  • trustworthy
  • experts
  • decline
  • critical thinking
  • coexist
  • advantages
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