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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that to become a good teacher, you should acquire enough training, while others say that teaching capabilities can be developed with experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teacher #capabilities
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Teachers
 play a vital role in
educational
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the educational
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 system, as they provide
knowledge
 for cognitive and mental development.
Hence
, some argue that it is essential for a tutor to possess a high level of education,
while
 others believe that practice is more important.
This
 essay will explore both opinions and provide my view
at the end
.
To begin
, those educators who
Add a missing verb
have undewent
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undewent
Correct your spelling
underwent
 a variety of courses hold
better
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a better
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 understanding of students' personalities.
This
 means that they are familiar with behaviour models and psychological characteristics of individuals,
Correct word choice
and having
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having
Wrong verb form
have
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 an ability to support their learning.
Moreover
,
this
knowledge
 helps tutors to manage specific challenging situations and to resolve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conflicts.
For instance
,
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
 curriculum provides theories and techniques on how to support pupils with different cultural backgrounds and to exclude bullying, using
inclusive
Correct article usage
an inclusive
show examples
 approach.
On the other hand
, real-world teaching experience offers practical insights into classroom management that theoretical training cannot fully provide. Working in the classroom allows
teachers
 to understand the routine, providing smooth transitions from one activity to another.
For instance
, in primary schools, educators organise group times before having a meal
as well as
 before drama and music classes.
Hence
, children can calm down after being active,
getting
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and getting
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 ready for another part of the day.
Furthermore
, experience
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
teachers
 to develop their own style and adapt to different classroom dynamics. In conclusion, experienced
teachers
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 from
wealth
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a wealth
the wealth
show examples
 of practices that they can apply in spontaneous situations,
while
 theoretical
knowledge
 is crucial for gaining pedagogical
knowledge
. In my opinion, both training and experience are valuable, as they enrich teaching practice and
knowledge
.
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, however, it lacks clear topic sentences and could benefit from a clearer progression of ideas within paragraphs. Establish each main point more distinctly and provide more cohesive transitions between them.
task achievement
You have addressed the task adequately by discussing both views and giving your opinion. However, for a higher score, ensure that your opinion is stated clearly throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion, and that each body paragraph has a clear central idea with specific supporting examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pedagogy
  • methodologies
  • educational psychology
  • curriculum design
  • lesson planning
  • professional development
  • teaching strategies
  • classroom management
  • learning styles
  • improvise
  • anecdotes
  • engaging
  • relatable
  • credibility
  • employability
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