IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You have moved in new house and you are going to throw a part which we be little noisy and invite your neighbors

#house #part #neighbors
Dear Mr. Sharma, I hope
this
 letter finds you in radiant health and best of the spirits. My
name
Add a verb
name is
name was
show examples
 Reet Kaur, your neighbor. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about a
party
 that I am going to celebrate my first marriage anniversary which will be very noisy. Next Saturday, I have planned a surprise
party
 for my husband in a new house. To make it memorable, I have invited my close friends and a few relatives.
Additionally
, I decided to decorate the whole house with fresh flowers which are done by well-known artists of our city, khandecrorators.
Also
, Almost 50 people will attend
this
party
 at night, we will serve fresh juices and some snacks,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 cake-cutting ceremony will be around 7 pm. After having a delicious dinner, all will dance on the dance floor. I apologize for
this
 noise. Come to my place with all family and suggest to me, if you have a better idea or something that we could do better. Again,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 apologize for the disturbance. Hoping to see you in
party
Add an article
the party
a party
show examples
 and hope you will enjoy it. Yours lovingly, Reet
Submitted by harmandeep51075 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The letter covers the essentials of the task but could be enhanced by a more thorough development of the main points, such as providing specific examples of how the noise will be managed or the duration of the party.
coherence and cohesion
While the overall structure is logical, the information could be better organized into clear paragraphs, each with a specific focus, to aid the reader's understanding. Additionally, transitional phrases should be used to create smoother connections between sentences and ideas for improved coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: