IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All over the world , the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer, What problem does this cause? How can we oversome the problems of poverty.

Everywhere in the globe,
population
Add an article
the population
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 of
upper
Add a hyphen
upper-income
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income
Use synonyms
class
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming
more
Change the word
apply
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wealthier and lower
Use synonyms
income
Correct your spelling
lower-income
show examples
class
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 becoming poorer and
this
Linking Words
 has caused
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of problems like
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the potential impacts and solutions for the problems. The main problem caused by
disparity
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the disparity
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 in resource
distribution
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 is
increase
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an increase
the increase
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 in crime
rate
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. In
modern
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the modern
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 world, to live a happy life, everyone needs to earn suitable money and access their share of resources, but
due to
Linking Words
 disparity in
distribution
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, poor
people
Use synonyms
 are forced to commit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes like theft,
burglary
Correct word choice
and burglary
show examples
. Another important issue is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of quality
education
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, Nowadays, quality
education
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 is expensive and
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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 population are not able to afford that which leads to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in literacy
rate
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 not
able
Add a missing verb
being able
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 to compete for
Add an article
a high
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high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
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 job, causing
increase
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an increase
the increase
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 in
unemployment
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the unemployment
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rate
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 and poverty.
For instance
Linking Words
, as per statistics shared by leading developing
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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, By 2030,
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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middle
Add a hyphen
middle-income
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income
Use synonyms
class
Use synonyms
 will either be converted to
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
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income
Use synonyms
class
Use synonyms
 or low
Use synonyms
income
Correct your spelling
low-income
show examples
class
Use synonyms
. Considering the solution,
government
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the government
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 should put more emphasis on implementing new
laws
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 related to mandatory
education
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. These
laws
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 will not only help poor
people
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in learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 new skills but
also
Linking Words
 compete for a
high paying
Add a hyphen
high-paying
show examples
 job resulting
,
Change preposition
in, better
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better
Add an article
the better
a better
show examples
 quality of life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, more emphasis should be put
in
Change preposition
on
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 providing financial assistance. Government should modify existing policies and tax
laws
Use synonyms
 so that more transparency can be seen in the
distribution
Use synonyms
 of resources and
low interest
Add a hyphen
low-interest
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 loans should be distributed to small entrepreneurs so that they can grow well and provide employment to a greater number of
people
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, In
leading
Correct article usage
a leading
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 developed nation, post relaxing the tax rules,
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of start-up culture has increased by thirty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
creating new
laws
Use synonyms
 on mandatory
education
Use synonyms
 and offering financial assistance to
small scale
Add a hyphen
small-scale
show examples
 industries helped
in reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the disparity in resource
distribution
Use synonyms
 which
leads
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear and logical structure throughout the essay which sequentially connects the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion in a way that each paragraph flows from one to the other without abrupt changes or disconnections.
coherence cohesion
Manage your ideas more effectively by planning the essay before you begin writing. This would include developing a clear thesis statement in the introduction, presenting a sequence of well-structured paragraphs each with a clear main idea, and a coherent conclusion that summarises the points made.
task achievement
Provide a more detailed response to the question by not only listing problems and solutions but also by exploring these in-depth with expanded reasoning, detailed explanations, and a comprehensive discussion that is directly related to the question asked.
task achievement
Include examples that are directly relevant to the topic and your arguments. Ensure these examples are specific, detailed, and used to effectively illustrate the points you are making rather than being vague or too general.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammar and lexical resource by enhancing sentence structure, diversity of vocabulary, and avoiding repetition. Aim to communicate your ideas with clarity and precision for a higher band score.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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