Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
University is a tool to facilitate achieving goals for students.
While
some students prefer to learn multidiscipline courses in their studies, others contend that in-depth study for qualifications is more profound. I hold a balance opinion for both perspectives which reasons are shared in the essay.
Broadening knowledge by learning multiple courses provides beneficial holistic views. In a contemporary era with a highly competitive market, people
have to differentiate themselves by equipping beyond the criteria. Engineers, for instance
, complemented with environmental background will unequivocally develop self-sustain environmental-friendly buildings. The competitive edge that undoubtedly increases employment opportunities. In addition
to that, a new entrepreneur tends to hold multiple roles during the initial years
, this
fact serving the proof of a necessity to gain interdisciplinary knowledge for several people
.
Meanwhile, expertise can be nurtured by focusing only on a certain subject at a time
. Limited time
and physical body make it impossible for humans to master multiple subjects at one time
. theoretical subjects and practical implementation require people
to dedicate their spare time
to learn
, Wrong verb form
learning
in addition
to maintaining good physical fitness. To provide an illustration, a doctor in Indonesia needs at least 4 years
of theoretical study at the university and 2 additional years
to do community service before publicly serving the patients. Furthermore
, on top of those years
, at least 2 years
are needed for a more specialized curriculum. Based on the limitations, mastery in one focus subject is preferable to some who choose to be an expert in their field.
In conclusion, I hold a balanced opinion in learning whether it is multiple disciplines or a single focus course. Because learning is a mere facilitator to achieve people
’s goals, it depends on people
to choose which path is more suitable and advantageous for them.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
While the essay presents both viewpoints and a personal opinion as per the task requirements, it fails to fully develop all parts of the prompt. It is essential to provide a more detailed explanation and a clearer progression of ideas throughout the essay. In future writings, strive to expand on the key points, providing more in-depth analysis and a variety of examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows evidence of logical sequencing and paragraphing. However, linking expressions are somewhat mechanical and can be improved to enhance the overall flow. Aim for a mix of both simple and complex sentence structures to improve coherence. Be sure to make your paragraphs thematically cohesive, with each one discussing a distinct main idea, and ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs help the reader to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.