Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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According to

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some, earning a

lot

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money

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means

success

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while

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other

people

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believe that personal

happiness

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real

success

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. In my opinion, I consider that

success

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is defined by personal

happiness

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To begin

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, some

people

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believe that triumph means earning a

lot

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money

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because of some reasons.

Firstly

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money

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nowadays is one of the priority things for everyone.

In other words

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people

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can not do many things with less

money

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. So, gaining a

lot

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money

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which provides the opportunity for

people

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to use it

however

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they want.

Secondly

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. it is common nowadays that rich

people

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are successful,

for example

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, Mark Zuckerberg is one who founded the most popular website in the world, Facebook, and he is one of the richest individuals in the world.

Therefore

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, these stereotypes make

people

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think that

success

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means earning a

lot

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money

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On the other hand

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, it is believed that

success

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is defined by personal

happiness

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, and I agree. First of all, being satisfied is the main

success

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. To put it simply, reaching the peak of

success

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is by feeling satisfied.

For instance

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, many

people

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nowadays have less

money

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but they are smart and they work in different places with low salaries,

however

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, they are proud of themselves and their good experience.

Hence

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success

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means satisfying and prodding

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apply

show examples

yourself. Another point is that it is easy to earn a high salary, but it is difficult to be happy. main

success

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comes when the person is happy.

To sum up

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for

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apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, I believe that personal

happiness

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is the main triumph for

people

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because feeling satisfaction is an important option without focusing on salaries and being rich is easier than being happy.

s_syedyWed Dec 06 2023

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logical structure

Ensure that the essay presents a clear logical structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point and clear topic sentences that introduce the paragraph content.

introduction conclusion present

Ensure that introductory and conclusive paragraphs are clearly identifiable, and succinctly present the topic and the writer's stance.

supported main points

Develop main points with detailed supporting sentences that clearly relate to the topic sentence, and provide more developed arguments and elaborate examples for each point.

complete response

Address all aspects of the prompt effectively, ensuring that the essay thoroughly discusses both sides of the issue and presents a clear personal opinion.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify ideas and arguments by expanding on them with additional information, examples or reasons, and ensure that these are presented comprehensively.

relevant specific examples

Provide specific, relevant examples that effectively support your arguments and help to illustrate your points more vividly to the reader.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial success
Personal happiness
Intrinsic measure
Contentment
Fulfillment
Nurturing relationships
Harmonious life
Career achievements
Social recognition
Subjective nature

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Children nowadays are experiencing health issues, which were previously believed to be exclusive to adults. Obesity, a significant health problem, is widespread among young individuals. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.