Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to
Linking Words
some, earning a
lot
Use synonyms
of
money
Use synonyms
means
success
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
people
Use synonyms
believe that personal
happiness
Use synonyms
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
success
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I consider that
success
Use synonyms
is defined by personal
happiness
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that triumph means earning a
lot
Use synonyms
of
money
Use synonyms
because of some reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
nowadays is one of the priority things for everyone.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
can not do many things with less
money
Use synonyms
. So, gaining a
lot
Use synonyms
of
money
Use synonyms
which provides the opportunity for
people
Use synonyms
to use it
however
Linking Words
they want.
Secondly
Linking Words
. it is common nowadays that rich
people
Use synonyms
are successful,
for example
Linking Words
, Mark Zuckerberg is one who founded the most popular website in the world, Facebook, and he is one of the richest individuals in the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these stereotypes make
people
Use synonyms
think that
success
Use synonyms
means earning a
lot
Use synonyms
of
money
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is believed that
success
Use synonyms
is defined by personal
happiness
Use synonyms
, and I agree. First of all, being satisfied is the main
success
Use synonyms
. To put it simply, reaching the peak of
success
Use synonyms
is by feeling satisfied.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
nowadays have less
money
Use synonyms
but they are smart and they work in different places with low salaries,
however
Linking Words
, they are proud of themselves and their good experience.
Hence
Linking Words
,
success
Use synonyms
means satisfying and prodding
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
yourself. Another point is that it is easy to earn a high salary, but it is difficult to be happy. main
success
Use synonyms
comes when the person is happy.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, I believe that personal
happiness
Use synonyms
is the main triumph for
people
Use synonyms
because feeling satisfaction is an important option without focusing on salaries and being rich is easier than being happy.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Ensure that the essay presents a clear logical structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point and clear topic sentences that introduce the paragraph content.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that introductory and conclusive paragraphs are clearly identifiable, and succinctly present the topic and the writer's stance.
supported main points
Develop main points with detailed supporting sentences that clearly relate to the topic sentence, and provide more developed arguments and elaborate examples for each point.
complete response
Address all aspects of the prompt effectively, ensuring that the essay thoroughly discusses both sides of the issue and presents a clear personal opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify ideas and arguments by expanding on them with additional information, examples or reasons, and ensure that these are presented comprehensively.
relevant specific examples
Provide specific, relevant examples that effectively support your arguments and help to illustrate your points more vividly to the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial success
  • Personal happiness
  • Intrinsic measure
  • Contentment
  • Fulfillment
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Harmonious life
  • Career achievements
  • Social recognition
  • Subjective nature
What to do next:
Look at other essays: