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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates how many passengers used the three major airports in New York City from 1995 to 2000. Units are measured in
millions
Use synonyms
 of passengers.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an increasing trend of visitors
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 LaGuardia and Newark
Use synonyms
airport
Fix the agreement mistake
airports
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the number of travellers using John F. Kennedy
Use synonyms
airport
Capitalize word
Airport
show examples
 fluctuated. Throughout the time period, LaGuardia
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the most busy
airport
Use synonyms
 except in 1997. It had 35
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
 at the start, and experienced a steady increase for four years,
then
Linking Words
 grew dramatically
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 year, which ended with around double
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the original number.
In addition
Linking Words
, Newark
Use synonyms
airport
Capitalize word
Airport
show examples
also
Linking Words
 had an
overall
Linking Words
 increase in travellers over the five years. It first started at around 15
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 increased to around 40
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors in 2000, making it the
least used
Add a hyphen
least-used
show examples
airport
Use synonyms
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was a floating trend for the number of passengers using John F. Kennedy
Use synonyms
airport
Capitalize word
Airport
show examples
. It first had around 25
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travellers in 1995,
then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated between 30 to 50 million people for the next five years.
Linking Words
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end, it ended
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 around 45
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors, which is
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, overall".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words millions, airport with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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