IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many things that used to be done by in the home by hand are now being done by machines does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages

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In
this
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 contemporary era, modern technology has changed our way of living.
Consequently
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, many individuals have become dependent on gadgets to do their daily work and
this
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 includes house chores which used to be done manually. It is believed that the demerits of these machines outweigh the merits because
although
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 they progressively assist numerous labourers, particularly females, to save their
time
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 and effort, they might increase the incidence of some diseases and exacerbate the level of noise pollution. On one hand, a myriad of individuals have hectic schedules; henceforth, using
gadget
Change the noun form
gadgets
show examples
such
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 as
dishwasher
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dishwashers
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 or
vacuum
Fix the agreement mistake
vacuums
show examples
 can help them save more
time
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.
In other words
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, the vast majority of people are enrolling in multiple jobs nowadays;
therefore
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, they do not have adequate
time
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 to cook or wash dishes, and for those people using highly developed equipment as an alternative to manual work could play an instrumental role in saving their
time
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 and energy which can be allocated to gather with their minors.
This
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 can be exemplified by a survey conducted by a group of Iraqi civil society activists who claimed that approximately two-thirds of Iraqi females who work in different fields have become fully dependent on modern appliances to perform housework;
accordingly
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, they have much more spare
time
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 to spend with their offspring.
This
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 example shows that modern devices are of paramount importance for
workersr
Correct your spelling
workers
 to preserve more hours.
On the other hand
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, despite the aforementioned point, it can be argued that the continuous use of some devices could be considered an environmental factor that exacerbates some physical problems. To illustrate, a number of appliances
such
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 as a microwave, which is used to warm up food, might cause cancer
due to
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 the harmful waves which are radiated by
this
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 device that could distract the nuclear component ( DNA) of the body cells if it is used on a regular basis.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the National Geographic journal, the incidence of cancer
due to
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 the continuous use of the microwave is up to 0.5%.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 type of gadget
along with
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 others
such
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 as a vacuum could participate in increasing noise pollution to some extent which has become a chronic feature of
this
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 era. What can be said here is that not only do some modern alternatives lead to a significant increase in noise levels, but
also
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 cause severe damage to the human body. In conclusion,
after
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this
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 essay has reiterated the above-mentioned ideas,it can be argued that
although
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 using modern technology at home is of paramount importance for many individuals as it allows them to preserve their
time
Use synonyms
, it is believed that the vast majority of highly developed equipment is dangerous to humans because it could aggravate some disorders, and it is not environmentally friendly.
As a result
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, the disadvantages outweigh the benefits.

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introduction conclusion presence
Ensure that your essay has a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the topics you will discuss. Your conclusion should summarize your main points without adding new information.
logical structure
Work on developing a logical flow to your ideas. Use clear topic sentences and cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples or data where possible. This can help to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
complete response
Address the prompt fully by ensuring that you provide a balanced comparison of the advantages and disadvantages. Dedicate a similar amount of discussion to each viewpoint before giving your own opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas fully to ensure you are clear and comprehensive. Avoid making broad generalizations without supporting them.
relevant specific examples
Use examples that are directly relevant to the topic and your argument. Make sure that each example clearly supports the point you are trying to make.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • convenience
  • efficiency
  • precision
  • repetitive
  • tedious
  • job displacement
  • job opportunities
  • skilled labor
  • unskilled labor
  • manual tasks
  • technological advancements
  • impact
  • productivity
  • workforce
  • workplace
  • equality
  • dependence
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