succesfull sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions.some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is
notion
of Add an article
the notion
a notion
myriad
number of people that Change the article
a myriad
the myriad
sportsperson
should earn more than other Fix the agreement mistake
sportspersons
professionals
. They argued that they work harder than scientist
, researchers and Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
other professional
. Change the wording
another professional
other professionals
Whereas
another section of society believes that professional
should earn more as they sometimes risk their Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
lives
while
performing their duties. I am of opinion
that other Correct article usage
the opinion
professional
should earn more than Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
sports
professional
.
The primary reason Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
sports
person earns
more is that their careers Correct subject-verb agreement
earn
is
very Change the verb form
are
short lived
. They play Add a hyphen
short-lived
Sports
for ten to fifteen years. Their main source of earning
comes from endorsements and tournament wins. Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
Furthermore
, if they get injured their earnings gets
dwindled. That’s why they charge more fees for endorsements. Change the verb form
get
Moreover
, the kind of effort put by
them is more than other Change preposition
in by
professional
. Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
However
, sports
professional does not put their lives
at risk and should not paid such
exorbitant
amount of money.
Admittedly, Correct article usage
an exorbitant
Many
other professional risks their Fix capitalization
many
lives
by performing duties. Professionals
like military
, law enforcement and Correct article usage
the military
Docters
work in high-risk Correct your spelling
doctors
environment
. Fix the agreement mistake
environments
Specially
during Replace the word
Especially
corona
pandemic, Correct your spelling
the coronavirus
Docters
are working on Correct your spelling
doctors
247
basis. Their efforts to save human Correct article usage
a 247
lives
was
commendable. Governments should make their emoluments higher. Change the verb form
were
Professionals
are working in high-risk environment
so they must be paid more than any other professional.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
environments
although
sports
professional
put Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
lot
of hard work Correct article usage
a lot
to become
successful. Their profession should not be paid exorbitantly. Other Change preposition
into becoming
professional
like Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
Docters
, Correct your spelling
doctors
law
enforcement personnel should be paid handsomely as they are putting their Correct word choice
and law
lives
for the sake of people. Their contribution to nation
should be considered as important as other riskier Add an article
the nation
professionals
.Submitted by yash334 on
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Introduction/Thesis Statement
While your introduction presents the topic, it doesn't adequately paraphrase the prompt nor does it provide a clear thesis statement with an outline of the essay. Aim to make your opening statement more comprehensive, outlining the key points you will discuss.
Supporting Arguments
Ensure main points are well-supported with clear, relevant examples and explanations. Use specific evidence or scenarios to back up your claims and arguments.
Logical Structure
Strive for a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, with clear topic sentences and cohesive devices. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, restate your position clearly and summarize the arguments without introducing new information. Aim for a more impactful closing statement that underlines your opinion.
Grammar and Accuracy
Use a variety of sentence structures and maintain control over grammatical constructions to enhance the quality of your writing. Keep an eye out for run-on sentences and punctuation errors that can hinder clarity.
Spelling
Check for and correct spelling errors and typos throughout the essay to maintain professionalism and credibility.
Task Response
To fully respond to the task's requirements, discuss both views presented in the prompt before giving your own opinion. Ensure your opinion is consistent throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.