Some people say that playing computergames is bad for children in every aspect. Ohters say that palying computergames can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give youre opinion.
There is a discussion that computer
games
are not good for children in
every point of view.Others believe that in development of Change preposition
from
youngones
playing online Correct your spelling
youngsters
games
have
positive aspects.In Correct subject-verb agreement
has
this
essay,i
will discuss both views with arguments and give my opinion.
Change the capitalization
I
Firstly
,consider the first view.The main point which support
Change the verb form
supports
this
argument is no physical activity.It is considered that sitting on computer
Correct article usage
a computer
restrict
Change the verb form
restricts
ones
physical activity or Change to a genitive case
one's
minimize
it.Correct subject-verb agreement
minimizes
Furthermore
,this
non-bodly
activity becomes habitual Correct your spelling
non-body
non-bodily
as well as
dangerous to body health.Secondly
,playing online games
on desktop
causes low Correct article usage
a desktop
performances
in Fix the agreement mistake
performance
academic
of youngster.It is believed that keeping an eye on pc every time can distract Fix the agreement mistake
academics
child
from studies and result in poor grades.Add an article
the child
a child
Moreover
they may indulge in other activities,Add a comma
Moreover,
for instance
,thiefting
and shooting.Correct your spelling
thieving
thrifting
Hence
playing game
online has negative effects on children.
Fix the agreement mistake
games
On the other hand
,online games
can also
play a role in development
and learning of Correct article usage
the development
childs
.Correct your spelling
children
Furtherly
,online Rephrase
Further
games
enhace
their capabilities in teamwork,Correct your spelling
enhance
collaborations
and Fix the agreement mistake
collaboration
communications
skills.Change the noun form
communication
For example
, playing ludo online help
them to achieve team goals.Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
Secondly
,online games
have positive impacts on reasoning
skills of children and improve Correct article usage
the reasoning
thier
hand-eye coordination.
In conclusion,playing online computer Correct your spelling
their
games
have
positive aspects but cannot Correct subject-verb agreement
has
be
neglect its negative aspects.Unnecessary verb
apply
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, making it challenging for readers to follow the argument. To improve, consider organizing your essay with distinct paragraphs for each main point. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea followed by supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but they need to be clearer and more impactful. Work on crafting a strong thesis statement in the introduction and a summarizing conclusion that reaffirms your position.
coherence cohesion
Main points lack full development and support. Each argument should be expanded with clear explanations and relevant examples. Avoid vague statements and ensure that every point you make is substantiated.
task achievement
The response is somewhat complete but fails to fully address all aspects of the task. It would benefit from a more balanced discussion of both views as well as a clearer and more explicit presentation of your own opinion.
task achievement
The ideas presented are unclear and lack comprehensiveness. Aim to express your thoughts clearly and thoroughly explore each point. Clarity can be improved through the careful selection of words and a focus on straightforward sentence structure.
task achievement
There is a scarcity of relevant and specific examples that could strengthen your arguments. Including concrete examples provides evidence for your claims and makes your essay more persuasive and engaging.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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