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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that installing CCTVs in high crime areas help to reduce crime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#believe #cctvs #crime #areas
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that equipping with
CCTVs
Use synonyms
 is beneficial to public peace as they can help a criminal investigation, and there has been an argument regarding it.
This
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 essay will discuss the merits and demerits of installing
CCTVs
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.
To begin
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 with, the main advantage is that
CCTVs
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 can decrease the rate of crime by playing the role of surveillant. It is hard for
people
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 to do illegal acts when they feel like being watched.
Moreover
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, security
cameras
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 can be strong evidence or clues to solve criminal cases. In the past, police investigations depended on witnesses' verbal evidence, so there were concerns regarding the reliability or accuracy issues. But now, investigation agencies can be provided with clear and objective proof by the
cameras
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 which are scattered everywhere in the neighbourhood, They assist in catching a criminal by offering traces of suspects.
However
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, there are some disadvantages of pervasive surveillance
cameras
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. One of them is an invasion of privacy which is the most arguable issue in the modern world.
People
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's private life is being recorded even in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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situation where they are unaware of the existence of
cameras
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, as it is hard to find an area without security
cameras
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.
This
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 can make
people
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 humiliated and embarrassed.
For example
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, there was a case
that
Change preposition
in
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an
Correct pronoun usage
which an
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 owner of a restaurant posted a short video of a celebrity who visited the place, and the public felt resentment that the restaurant owner disclosed and invaded one innocent citizen's private life.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 felt fear that it would be easy for the owner of the area which is equipped with
CCTVs
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 to use their recordings in an undesirable way. In conclusion, it is obvious that there are lots of positive effects if surveillance
cameras
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 are installed in the neighbourhood.
In contrast
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, there are
also
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 significant side effects because the
cameras
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 can be misused readily.
Submitted by djsnen813 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Your introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs need clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument. Make better use of paragraphing to separate different ideas clearly.
task achievement
While you addressed the task, your response would benefit from more detailed development of the ideas presented. Expand on your points with further explanation and discussion, which will help to both clarify and support your arguments more comprehensively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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