Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is thought by some that a university education is a stepping stone to building up a lucrative employment status in life,

while

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other groups believe that getting a job directly after school discipline is the better option .

Although

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tertiary studies can reinforce the future race development of an individual .In my opinion , I affirm that interested students must be promoted to start working straight away after acquiring their basic education.Let us discuss

this

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in detail in the subsequent paragraphs.

To begin

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with, let us shed light on the argument that higher study is crucial for a better future. First and foremost, most professionals are highly qualified.

In addition

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, the doctors, engineers or whoever decorating the higher positions in society are well qualified with graduation and post-graduation certificates that made them lead successful and satisfactory careers in their lives.

For example

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, in India, the staff members of the schools are categorised as principals, teachers, administrators and other lower-grade positions based on their academic qualifications which include the level of their degrees that helped them to create a successful pathway.

On the other hand

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, there are certain points to support the decision to work without university qualifications. Primarily, personal skills are the building blocks of a successful staff member in his organisation.

Moreover

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, leadership qualities, time management, emotional intelligence and collaboration and cooperation among a team play a crucial role in the achievements of a staff member.

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, the success of the Microsoft company is the patience and leadership qualities of Bill Gates rather than his tertiary qualifications. In conclusion, the

overall

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development of a successful course is the subtotal of educational certificates and the innate characteristics of an individual. In my point of view, the factors behind a rewarding career are decided by the personal interest of a person whether he or she is affiliated with studies or would like to cultivate their personal skills .

emonsunderland2015Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a logical structure but could benefit from clarifying the progression of ideas. Occasionally, the argument may seem to jump without clear connections between points. Develop a more streamlined and cohesive logic flow from one point to the next.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be stronger. The thesis statement should more clearly indicate your stance and the conclusion should neatly summarize the points made in the essay without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Points made in the essay are supported, but some may lack depth. Strengthen your argument by offering more elaborated examples and fully explaining how they support your position. Ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea with sufficient support.

task achievement

The completeness of your response is adequate. However, consider providing a more thorough exploration of the two perspectives and your own opinion. Ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt to achieve a higher score.

task achievement

While ideas presented in the essay are relevant, there is room for more clarity and thoroughness. Strive to express your points more comprehensively, unambiguously demonstrating how they relate to the question.

task achievement

Your examples are relevant, although not always clearly linked to the argument or adequately detailed. Providing specific and clearly connected examples will enhance your essay and better illustrate your points.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, we are surround by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss with both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people believe that children should be taught history in schools, however, others argue that children should learn subjects that are more helpful for modern everyday life. discuss both views and give your opinion

An increasingly number of professionals , such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poorer countries yo work in developed countries . What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation ?

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