IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You arranged to visit a friend in Canada but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Explain the important event Apologize for the situation Suggest a new arrangement

#visit #friend #canada #event #home #change #dates #situation #arrangement
Dear Sim, Hope
this
 message finds you well. I am writing
this
 letter to let you know that, for now, I have to cancel my visit to
Canada
 next month. As we were so happy
last
 time we talked. And I decided to visit
Canada
 in October. That time, I asked for leave from my manager for two months and he only approved the leave for one month. But,
last
 week we found out, about the important company meeting in mid-October which is very important to attend. As you know I am working in it company where I handle all the staff meetings. So, I feel it is impossible to see you in October. Hopefully, my manager will give me off in December just in two months, don't be sad we will see each other soon.
As well as
 its Christmas in December, and you
also
 have two weeks holiday from your university. And
that is
 perfect, we will have more time to explore the different places in
Canada
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is my first visit to
Canada
 and you are the only friend I know there. Sorry for the inconvenience, hope you will understand. Hope to hear back soon Yours faithfully Sam
Submitted by kaursaijbir on

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task achievement
You effectively explained the important event and apologized for the change in plans, but try to provide a bit more detail about the company meeting so the reason is crystal clear.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure. Organizing your paragraphs more clearly can make the letter easier to follow. For instance, the section about the meeting could be more concise and integrated smoothly.
task achievement
Your writing tone is very suitable for a letter to a friend. It is friendly and warm, which is perfect for this context.
task achievement
You provided a complete response by explaining the situation and suggesting a new arrangement, which shows your good task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are correctly formulated, which adds a nice personal touch to the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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