Some people think that the arts (such as painting and music) do not directly improve quality of people's life, so government should spend money on other areas. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the arts, encompassing drawing and music have played a crucial role in human development. The number of proponents tentatively contemplates that they are unfortunately unable to meet the quality of human life.

Consequently

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, the government should unquestionably allocate financial resources to the other issues. My take on

this

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, I partially agree that the action is significantly high on the list;

however

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, the arts need to be preserved. On the one hand, I personally believe that paintings and music have a positive impact entirely on the citizen's life. They have possibly decreased mental illnesses

as well as

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generated passive income per month.

For instance

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, pop songs that have been released on YouTube could boost people's morale and earn money through AdSense. Meanwhile, paintings may have an incredible value to the majority of people.

Therefore

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, it is noticeable that they act incredibly to keep up human qualities.

On the other hand

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, some infer that medical studies should pay more attention to human protection.

This

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has been known that the majority of people have suffered from a dangerous disease,

such

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as cancer. Case in point, Indonesia has found that just under 60% of patients passed away

due to

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the disease.

Therefore

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, the government must inevitably collaborate with researchers to discover new drugs to mitigate the issue.

To sum up

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, I individually consider that the arts could not be squandered because they still promote a positive outcome to human activities.

In addition

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, the government must

also

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tend to share the financial requirements for other fields.

soniandriawan1992Wed Mar 13 2024

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Structure

Ensure that your essay contains a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your opinion. The body paragraphs should each focus on a distinct point, supported by specific examples or explanations. Finally, the conclusion should summarize your view in light of the arguments presented.

Coherence

Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using cohesive devices appropriately. Words like 'consequently,' 'for instance,' and 'therefore' are good, but make sure they accurately connect the ideas. Try to vary your linking words to demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary.

Task Response

For task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task. This includes making your position clear throughout the essay and providing specific examples to support each point. Consider enhancing the specificity of your examples, aiming for real-world, concrete examples that strongly support your position.

Language

Check your essay for grammatical errors and work on improving your sentence structure for greater clarity. Also, avoid overcomplicating sentences, as simplicity often leads to better understanding and less room for error.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

contribute
well-being
quality of life
artistic expression
creativity
critical thinking
cultural heritage
cultural diversity
art education
cognitive skills
academic performance
economic benefits
government support
invest

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Some people think that the arts (such as painting and music) do not directly improve quality of people's life, so government should spend money on other areas. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cities public parks and open space are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some expert believe that is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do they advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.