The Government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

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It is an undeniable fact that we are living in a diverse world. Every

inches

Change to a singular noun

inch

show examples

of the world is full of new ideas and notions.

Moreover

Linking Words

, new generations do not care about virtues that were respected in past decades.

As a result

Linking Words

, these days there are myriad people who think

instead

Linking Words

of spending taxes on some

wastefull

Correct your spelling

wasteful

subjects like arts, music and theater, we should focus on public services. I almost disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

To begin

Linking Words

, let's start with

art

Use synonyms

Art

Use synonyms

is a specific way for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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to express

himself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

in a new way. Sometimes artists create

Remove the article

apply

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art

Use synonyms

just for

art

Use synonyms

's sake.

Besides

Linking Words

that,

art

Use synonyms

is like a drug for the humans who are living in the contemporary era. As an example, consider Frantz Kafka who was a Belgian and said I am

writting

Correct your spelling

writing

these words just for myself. I am talking with my own shadow because it could

truely

Correct your spelling

truly

understand me. So spending

founds

Correct your spelling

funds

show examples

promoting

Wrong verb form

promote

show examples

these gifted artists would be enormously beneficial for the future. Apart from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

art

Use synonyms

, music and

theater

Change the spelling

theatre

show examples

are the other ways of making

beautiness

Correct your spelling

business

Further

Linking Words

, these are complementary to each other and could make a good combination which might be amusing for individuals who like to listen

Change preposition

to and

show examples

and

Change preposition

to and

show examples

watch cultured

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, patriotic

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

and shows indicate the particular values of a society. Meanwhile, the other types of arts

such

Linking Words

as literature and translation are advantageous for students and even ordinary people. On the flip side, allocating a huge bulk of bucks

Change preposition

show examples

these subjects is irrational.

While

Linking Words

, all over the country is full of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

deprived children who are starving and rarely might find

this

Linking Words

chance to

have

Verb problem

make

show examples

any progress in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

occassionaly

Correct your spelling

occasionally

there are some exceptions that need to

be survey

Change the verb form

be surveyed

show examples

Overall

Linking Words

Although

Linking Words

, moral aspects of life are crucial,

comfort

Add an article

the comfort

show examples

of a country's citizens is more significant and we should not be indifferent toward

thid

Correct your spelling

this

matter.

tg.persianWed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

There appears to be some structure in your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes unclear, and there are abrupt shifts in topic. Linking phrases and connectors should be used more effectively to guide the reader through the arguments. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and develops it thoroughly.

task achievement

Your response to the task partially addresses the essay prompt, but the full development of your ideas is lacking. You should clearly state the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the statement and consistently develop that stance throughout the essay. Aim to balance the argument by equally discussing both sides of the issue, and conclude with a strong stance supported by the main points presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

320 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
cultural diversity
economic growth
creative industries
public service
community cohesion
opportunity cost
essential services
government spending
private sector
patronage
subsidize
invest
allocate
infrastructure

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The Government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion؟

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many governments budget money for the sports industry. Why do you think governments are funding sports so heavily? Do you think this is an appropriate investment?