The Government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

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It is an undeniable fact that we are living in a diverse world. Every
inches
Change to a singular noun
inch

The singular quantifier Every is followed by the plural noun inches. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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of the world is full of new ideas and notions.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, new generations do not care about virtues that were respected in past decades.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these days there are myriad people who think
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of spending taxes on some
wastefull
Correct your spelling
wasteful

If you don’t want wastefull to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

subjects like arts, music and theater, we should focus on public services. I almost disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, let's start with
art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is a specific way for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans

It seems that human may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to express
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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in a new way. Sometimes artists create
an
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun art in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

just for
art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's sake.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that,
art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is like a drug for the humans who are living in the contemporary era. As an example, consider Frantz Kafka who was a Belgian and said I am
writting
Correct your spelling
writing

If you don’t want writting to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

these words just for myself. I am talking with my own shadow because it could
truely
Correct your spelling
truly

If you don’t want truely to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

understand me. So spending
founds
Correct your spelling
funds

The word founds doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb promoting. Consider changing it.

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these gifted artists would be enormously beneficial for the future. Apart from
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, music and
theater
Change the spelling
theatre

The spelling of theater is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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are the other ways of making
beautiness
Correct your spelling
business

If you don’t want beautiness to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these are complementary to each other and could make a good combination which might be amusing for individuals who like to listen
Change preposition
to and
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and
Change preposition
to and

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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watch cultured
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content

It seems that contents may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, patriotic
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music

It appears that musics is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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and shows indicate the particular values of a society. Meanwhile, the other types of arts
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as literature and translation are advantageous for students and even ordinary people. On the flip side, allocating a huge bulk of bucks
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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these subjects is irrational.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all over the country is full of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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deprived children who are starving and rarely might find
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

chance to
have
Verb problem
make

There may be a verb use issue here.

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any progress in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
occassionaly
Correct your spelling
occasionally

If you don’t want occassionaly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

there are some exceptions that need to
be survey
Change the verb form
be surveyed

It appears that the form of the verb survey does not work with be in this sentence.

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.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, moral aspects of life are crucial,
comfort
Add an article
the comfort

The noun phrase comfort seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of a country's citizens is more significant and we should not be indifferent toward
thid
Correct your spelling
this

If you don’t want thid to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

matter.

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coherence cohesion
There appears to be some structure in your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes unclear, and there are abrupt shifts in topic. Linking phrases and connectors should be used more effectively to guide the reader through the arguments. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and develops it thoroughly.
task achievement
Your response to the task partially addresses the essay prompt, but the full development of your ideas is lacking. You should clearly state the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the statement and consistently develop that stance throughout the essay. Aim to balance the argument by equally discussing both sides of the issue, and conclude with a strong stance supported by the main points presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • cultural diversity
  • economic growth
  • creative industries
  • public service
  • community cohesion
  • opportunity cost
  • essential services
  • government spending
  • private sector
  • patronage
  • subsidize
  • invest
  • allocate
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
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