IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that development of technology helps to reduce crime, whike others think that it encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #development #technology #crime #whike
Some people believe that
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of
technology
 helps to reduce
crime
.
However
, I strongly assert that it encourages
crime
.
First,
the
increases
Fix the agreement mistake
increase
show examples
 of modern technologies
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to control
crime
.
For instance
,
polices
Correct subject-verb agreement
police
show examples
 can supervise the traffic through cameras on the roads.
Therefore
, each individual saves in their mind that there are always supervisors.
Accordingly
, they tend to comply with the transportation rules.
Hence
, the amount of traffic violates is decreased.
In addition
, authorities are
also
 easily keeping
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
track
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 crimes if they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dissapear
Correct your spelling
disappear
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they can check them based on public camera systems nowadays. On the flip side, I eagerly believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
 progress can lead to increased
crime
, as it facilitates the way for violation.
For example
, the growth of
technology
 generates some type of violation
such
 as technological crimes.
In recently
Change preposition
Recently
show examples
, many reports have shown that residents are easily cheated by a call. AI
technology
 can change the
crime
's voice becoming
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 voice of a close person with that individual.
Consequently
, hundreds person have
loss
Replace the word
lost
show examples
milions
Correct your spelling
millions
million
dollars
Change preposition
of dollars
show examples
. In conclusion, the
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 modern technologies can
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to eliminate
crime
 because of their
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 application.
In contrast
, I still believe that
technology
 can lead to increased
crime
 because it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 a new
crime
 environment.
Submitted by huong.bx on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You must clearly address all parts of the task to satisfy the requirements. Ensure your essay discusses both views comprehensively and includes a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs to have a clear and logical structure. A well-balanced discussion with introductory and concluding paragraphs is essential. Paragraphs should be logically organized and ideas should progress in a manner that is easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, relevant examples. Examples are crucial for illustrating your arguments but must be directly relevant and clearly explained.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: