In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Change preposition
A
In a
large number of Change preposition
A
people
have been demanding Correct article usage
apply
the
processed Correct article usage
apply
foods
. The junk
Correct article usage
Junk
foods
are being replaced by culture
dishes. Replace the word
cultural
However
, the problem is being created by the
convenience Correct article usage
apply
food
and effected
Verb problem
affecting
the
human health. The community is being affected by the junk Correct article usage
apply
food
. To some extent, the
society has liked to eat fast Correct article usage
apply
food
instead
of traditional dishes because it takes too much time. This
essay will elaborate further
in the following paragraphs.
The frozen
Correct article usage
Frozen
foods
are easily
Change the word
easy
too
make and eat anytime. In Replace the word
to
the
busy Correct article usage
apply
time
, everyone has Fix the agreement mistake
times
shortage
of time so they need to eat instant Add an article
a shortage
meal
. But Fix the agreement mistake
meals
the
frozen Correct article usage
apply
foods
can causing
problems for human life. Many Change the verb form
cause
be causing
people
have
not conscious Verb problem
are
with
Change preposition
of
hazardous
effects of Correct article usage
the hazardous
the
fast Correct article usage
apply
foods
. Therefore
, they are becoming sick of different diseases like,
obesity, cardiovascular and diabetes. In recent study shows, Remove the comma
apply
the
obesity has risen rapidly in both males and females 72 Correct your spelling
that
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
people
are caused Change preposition
of people
from
Change preposition
by
the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
. The ratio of males is higher than the
Correct determiner usage
that
females
. Even the children have Change preposition
of females
also
affected from
the instant Change preposition
by
food
because they adopt
from their elders. It Wrong verb form
adopted
create
mental health problems like anxiety, depression and insomnia.
Change the verb form
creates
Although
, people
likes
to eat processed dishes Change the verb form
like
but
it is harmful Remove the conjunction
apply
for
Change the preposition
to
the
nature.One study found that ultra-processed Correct article usage
apply
foods
can contribute up to one-third of the total diet-related greenhouse gas emissions, in particular
for adults in developed countries. Consequently
, the negative impact is being given by the
instant Correct article usage
apply
food
.
In a nutshell, the demand of
fast Change preposition
for
food
are
increasing, Change the verb form
is
therefore
, the negative effects are also
becoming harmful for the nations. It is my opinion, instead
of eating unhealthy food
should eat home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
food
because you make yourself with clean
environment Correct article usage
a clean
as well as
healthy. It should also
give a vitamins
, minerals and fibres in your diet.Correct the article-noun agreement
vitamins
a vitamin
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task achievement
You have made an attempt to discuss the topic, however, the argument needs to be better structured and clarified. Your introduction did not clearly state your position, and the conclusion was brief, without summarizing the main points of the essay. The main points should be developed further with clear topic sentences that relate directly to the question prompt, and the conclusion should restate your position and summarize the main points.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea that is explored in detail and linked back to the main topic. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth to guide the reader clearly through your arguments. Bullet points and numbered arguments are not appropriate in an IELTS essay; instead, use full sentences and develop each point thoroughly.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?