Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures

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It is observed that many

prisoners

Use synonyms

, who commit serious crimes, have the trend to commit crimes again after finishing their punishment, and

that is

Linking Words

just against the purpose why jails are established. Being hard to fit in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

after getting out of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jail

Use synonyms

is the main reason to lead second or more crimes are committed. To cope with that, measurements by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

are necessary to be done. There are two reasons why offenders feel like

misfit

Fix the agreement mistake

misfits

show examples

in real life.

First,

Linking Words

they

feel

Verb problem

find it

show examples

extremely difficult to find jobs. After several years of isolation from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

, those

prisoners

Use synonyms

would

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lack

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the ability to

work

Use synonyms

like other people; even some part-time jobs can be the hardest thing they could do,

not to mention

Linking Words

other full-time jobs.

Second,

Linking Words

the prejudices

from

Change preposition

show examples

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

are not easy to erase. People can always worry about the potential dangers

from

Change preposition

show examples

those

prisoners

Use synonyms

, even though they may already revised themselves and

decide

Wrong verb form

decided

show examples

to be kind.

Such

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

worries are exhibited in the form of

critics

Fix the agreement mistake

criticism

show examples

, judgements and even bullying, which add huge pressure for the

prisoners

Use synonyms

. Once they find it hard to live like normal citizens, they can do nothing but risk offending laws again just in order to make a living. To prevent

such

Linking Words

tragedies, happen, the measurements should be taken especially to eliminate the gap between

prisoners

Use synonyms

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

First,

Linking Words

there can be some training or learning

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

jail

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as cooking, crafting, basic engineering…etc. By implementing these basic skills, the

prisoners

Use synonyms

can not only learn practical abilities for

work

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

help to build their confidence to go back to real life. For those who are well-behaved and hard-working, the prison can even provide the chance to study in

jail

Use synonyms

, providing them

the

Add the preposition

with the

show examples

more advanced knowledge that can be well

utilize

Wrong verb form

utilised

show examples

work

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, mental consultation is necessary to be taken. A long period of isolation can decrease their ability not only

for

Change preposition

show examples

work

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

communicating

Wrong verb form

communicate

show examples

Correct word choice

and cooperating

show examples

cooperating

Wrong verb form

cooperate

show examples

with others.

Change preposition

With

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

professional guide,

prisoners

Use synonyms

can build up

the

Correct article usage

show examples

strong mind to face every challenge and quest that may happen in the future. A

jail

Use synonyms

is built to adjust people who commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

; it is

also

Linking Words

important,

however

Linking Words

, to consider how to manage them to fit the

society

Use synonyms

without

obstacle

Fix the agreement mistake

obstacles

show examples

. By providing

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

experience and increasing mental

helping

Replace the word

help

show examples

in the

jail

Use synonyms

, these

prisoners

Use synonyms

have higher chances and

courages

Correct your spelling

courageous

courage

to successfully start their second life.

Submitted by yitsen210134 on Wed Dec 06 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Structure your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point, and ensure smooth transitions between them for better logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Elaborate further on your main points with specific examples to strengthen your arguments and provide tangible evidence for your ideas.

task achievement

Address the 'why' aspect of the question more thoroughly. Delve into the reasons for re-offending in greater depth to sufficiently satisfy the task response criteria.

task achievement

Include a wider range of examples to better illustrate your points and to more comprehensively answer the question posed in the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

404 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
rehabilitation programs
social stigma
ex-convicts
reintegration
support systems
mental health issues
addiction problems
criminal networks
incarceration

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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Modern technology has being used more and more in different aspects of our lives, such as education. Do the advantages of using technology as an educational tool outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people believe that the government should spend more money in putting in more works of art like painting and statutes in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity? (Write 250 words.)

When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?