IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discussion both sides and give your opinion

#people #scale #discussion
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There is no doubt environmental issues are detrimental to the earth.
While
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 some people believe that it should be solved globally, others argue that it is better to deal
within
Change preposition
with
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 each country. In
this
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 essay, I will explain my support for the latter view. On the one hand, the
supporter
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supporters
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to
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of
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a global solutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
global solutions
a global solution
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 for environmental issues are arguing that major
industries
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 which are harmful to the environment are multinational corporations.
Threfore
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Therefore
, the
national level
Add a hyphen
national-level
show examples
 solution will not be sufficient to control these polluting
industries
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.
For example
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, Some
industries
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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operating in under-developed Asian
countries
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 are denied permission to run in European
countries
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.
As a
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result
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result,
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 it producing
wast
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waste
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 products which are detrimental to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
 will
effect
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affect
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globelly
Correct your spelling
globally
.
On the other hand
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,
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 for
nature
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 saving should be managed micro level,
therefore
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, each country should take responsibility
to reduce
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for reducing
show examples
 or
eliminate
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eliminating
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 the
process
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processes
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 which are dangerous for the environment.
For example
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,
Correct article usage
the Netherland
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Netherland
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Netherlands
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intiated
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initiated
 to control
motor
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of motor
show examples
 vehicles are
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
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 bicycle usage which was a great
success
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successful
show examples
 initiative to control pollution which
harmful
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is harmful
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for
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to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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health and
nature
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.
Moreover
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, the the environmental saving plans should be tailored for each country by considering
thier
Correct your spelling
their
economical
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economic
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, social and climate conditions.
For example
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,
promotion
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the promotion
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 of
uage
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usage
use
 of
bicycle
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the bicycle
a bicycle
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 in the
middle
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Middle
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 east
countries
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 are not possible in
summar
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summer
 months,
therfore
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therefore
, the usage of public transport should be promoted
those
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in those
show examples
countries
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. In conclusion,
Although
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 multinational polluting
industries
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 should be controlled globally,
national level
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national-level
show examples
 micro solutions are vital to prevent environmentally harmful practices. The solution to
save
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saving
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
 should be tailored and
implimented
Correct your spelling
implemented
 nationally will be
wise
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a wise
show examples
 choice.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. The introduction should outline the topics to be discussed, while the conclusion should summarise the arguments and state your opinion clearly.
Logical Structure
Develop a logical structure throughout your essay. Start by presenting a point, followed by an explanation or example, and a clear connection back to the question. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea.
Supporting Main Points
Support main points consistently with relevant examples and enough detail to demonstrate comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Response
Address the task fully by discussing both sides of the argument as per the prompt, followed by a clear and well-supported personal opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to manage the flow of your essay.
Specific Examples
Include specific and relevant examples to support your points. The examples given should be concrete and directly related to the arguments being presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unified response
  • consensus
  • autonomy
  • sovereignty
  • frameworks
  • sustainability
  • multilateral agreements
  • cross-border issues
  • ecosystems
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • biodiversity
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmental policy
  • sustainable development
What to do next:
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