Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A group of
people
present the view that if Use synonyms
children
are able to opt for their daily necessities Use synonyms
such
as food, clothes and entertainment, they will be arrogant and self-centred Linking Words
people
in the future. Use synonyms
However
, others believe that it is crucial for Linking Words
children
to make decisions about everything which has an impact on them. I strongly agree with the latter opinion and my reasons will be given in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, some Use synonyms
people
justifiably argue that independent Use synonyms
children
are more beneficial to their communities as they can handle problems more effectively. From a psychological standpoint, individuals who were more dependent on their parents during childhood may easily be discouraged from combating life difficulties Use synonyms
due to
a lack of confidence. Linking Words
This
can result in a society with Linking Words
people
who fail to work properly and efficiently. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, research findings confirm that making decisions independently enables Linking Words
children
to develop critical and creative thinking. Use synonyms
Consequently
, Linking Words
people
become capable of facing challenging situations. Use synonyms
For example
, in Japan, Linking Words
children
are educated to make Use synonyms
choices
about their clothes shapes and colours on their own. Use synonyms
As a result
of Linking Words
this
education, Japanese adults are able to make decisive decisions in their personal and professional lives.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, another group of Linking Words
people
claim that Use synonyms
children
’s Use synonyms
choices
should be restricted. They firmly insist that making Use synonyms
choices
independently during childhood leads to the upbringing of Use synonyms
people
who only care about their own desires. Use synonyms
However
, I do not find Linking Words
this
argument convincing as Linking Words
children
who are too reliant on their parents are more likely to experience various failures in their lives. Use synonyms
For example
, in Iran, Linking Words
children
are confined to their parents’ attitudes and when they become older cannot live their lives independently.
In conclusion, in my view, independent Use synonyms
choices
make Use synonyms
children
more confident and help them develop critical and creative thinking. Use synonyms
Moreover
, dependency may cause constant failures in daily life.Linking Words
Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your opinion and the structure of the essay. You did this well, but further clarification could enhance your score.
Task Response
Balance the discussion of both views evenly before providing a reasoned conclusion. You've done a good job, but try to devote equal space to both perspectives for improved balance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraph structures to link ideas more effectively. This will help your text flow better and improve reader understanding.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. You provided good examples, but adding more or enhancing their details could further strengthen your argument.