Developing countries require international organizations' help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is commonly believed that global organisations should assist financially and practically to developing countries. Many people claim they should get help only commercially ,
whereas
others argue advice and practical cooperation are more important for the country. I am convinced financial aid are main ingredient of a nation in a hard time developing every section of the country. On the one hand , individuals think practical and advice are better for the nation to build up its piller more stronger to address their own challenges and find out the best solution ,rather than relying on one
side
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side's
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help.
For example
, technical assistance and training programmes help to figure out their internal problem which is really urgent to develop their skill and knowledge to increase the facility and
also
the growth of society.
Additionally
,
this
kind of support is relevant to creating a sustainable system and running in the long run.
On the other hand
, financial assistance is significant for the nation in a hard time which can not be some one anyhow because food, accommodation, and education are the main
fact
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factors
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for people to live a healthy life. Namely, Pakistan is taking as a sample, all types of financial help provided by the different developed organizations when they went through hardship because of
earthquake
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the earthquake
an earthquake
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.
Moreover
, society gets cooperation instantly when they have enough money to buy their necessary items
such
as to maintain their craving for food and be able to lead e normal life . In conclusion,
i
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I
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will go for financial support from other developed countries so that developing countries can meet their necessity now and
then
though both kinds of assistance can make the balance properly for the society.
Submitted by hashi4728 on

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task achievement
Though you presented a viewpoint for both aspects of aid as well as your own opinion, the essay lacks depth and the development of ideas is superficial. It is critical to elaborate on the points made and support them with specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay requires improvement. Ideas should be presented in a more logical and organized manner. Each paragraph should open with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and a concluding sentence that summarises the paragraph's main point.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a variety of sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary. The use of linking words should be employed to enhance the flow and coherence between sentences and ideas.
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