IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no b longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Advertising is a
well known
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well-known
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 technique to promote and
propogate
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propagate
 a business.
However
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, there are several questions pertaining to the prevalence of
advertisemess
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advertisements
advertisement
 which has led to the debate regarding its relevance in the current day and age. Many people consider
advertisements
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 as a successful means to purchase products.
While
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this
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 may be debatable, there is no doubt that a
well produced
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well-produced
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 advertisement does play a role in the consumer's thought process. But is that applicable to all
advertisements
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? Perhaps not. There are various ways to make an advertisement stand out amongst others. The best adverts are those that enter the consumer's psyche in very subtle ways.
For example
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, Apple
had run
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ran
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 a series of ads in the late 90s which represented the Macbook as the 'cool', young college student
while
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 the
window's
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window
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 PC was made to wear a suit and tie and had a notably
disheveled
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dishevelled
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 appearance.
On the other hand
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, in the era of
smart phones
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smartphones
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, the widespread use of technology has
consequently
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 led to a surge in
advertisements
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 aimed directly at your phones.
Subsequently
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, many have suggested that
this
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 excess may have caused a reduced interest in
advertisements
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. There is data to suggest that ads played on the popular
video sharing
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video-sharing
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 website 'YouTube' are most commonly skipped as soon as it's allowed.
However
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,
this
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 does not suggest that smart advertising does not exist today. A notable example of
this
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 is the bagpack campaign run by a company called Mokobara, which has led to considerable sales through the use of
instagram based
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Instagram-based
 adverts. In conclusion, there are a plethora of consumerist possibilities available to
an
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the
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 average user in the 21st century. Despite a decline in its relevance today, a
well produced
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well-produced
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 advertisement will still be able to stand out and remain in the back of our minds. The focus of marketing companies should be diverted towards
production
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the production
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 of quality over quantity.

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task achievement
You must ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set the topic and briefly outline the views you will discuss. Each paragraph in the body should contain one main idea and be well-developed with detailed examples. The conclusion should summarize the points made and state your own opinion clearly. Also, make sure your opinion is consistent throughout the essay and clearly stated in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher coherence score, arrange your ideas logically, and make sure they are clearly related to the question asked. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas across sentences and paragraphs. Be careful not to overuse these devices as this can impact readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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