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Band 5

Some people say that physical money will no longer be used in the future. However, others believe it will remain in use. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #future
In some people's opinion cash and coins will soon die out,
whereas
 others think that physical
money
 will
continued
Change the verb form
continue
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 to
use
Wrong verb form
be used
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. Honestly, I'm in
favor
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favour
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 of
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 view and I will prove it in upcoming paragraphs. The first reason why I think physical
money
 will go out of
use
 is that making
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
paper
money
 is quite difficult,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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it is easy to print
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fake version of it and it seems like the original one until you check it carefully, but if you have a big amount of
money
, it is impossible to look through every single
money
. So you may be cheated by swindlers.
Moreover
, If you have
money
 in your pocket, there's a potential risk of dropping it somewhere. I went through
once
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
such
an
Correct article usage
apply
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occasion. It must have been 2 years ago
while
 I was walking in the park. I dropped my wallet which included $300 and my calling card. I was saving
money
 for my mother's
bithday
Correct your spelling
birthday
 so it was very bad for me to
loose
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lose
show examples
 it. Fortunately, two days later, someone connected me and said that he
has
Wrong verb form
had
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found a black
laeather
Correct your spelling
leather
 wallet and
he's
Wrong verb form
he was
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 going to give it back. The next day I took it from him and determined to keep my
money
 in my debit card in order to avoid
such
 misfortunes. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 using digital
money
 is the best way to keep your
money
 secure.
Also
, it is convenient,
easy
Correct word choice
and easy
show examples
 to
use
 and why acceptance because you can control it and share it
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your phone and no one can
use
 it without your permission. In conclusion, it is likely that physical
money
 Someday in the future will go out of
use
 because digital
money
 is becoming more and more popular among people from all over the world.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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