IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages?

#internet #changes #life #communication #developments
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
internet
Use synonyms
 has revolutionized our daily lives, introducing swift and efficient means of
communication
Use synonyms
 and
information
Use synonyms
 exchange. Bearing in mind the multiple benefits of having
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 in today's world to increase the efficiency of
information
Use synonyms
 transfer will easily offset its disadvantages. As the first noticeable plus side of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, people now have undisrupted and broader
access
Use synonyms
 to
information
Use synonyms
 and data exchange through different
information
Use synonyms
 radiators to boost the pace of
communication
Use synonyms
 at professional platforms
as well as
Linking Words
 in daily routines.
Consequently
Linking Words
, in parallel to the speed of the
internet
Use synonyms
, the way we used to live our lives has
also
Linking Words
 been accelerated to a great extent.
For example
Linking Words
, previously, people had to wait for many days to receive and send an email to a receiver,
however
Linking Words
, the only thing you need is
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 and electronic devices like a cellphone or a computer to deliver the content of your email in less than a second.
However
Linking Words
, alongside
this
Linking Words
 advantage described above, there are eye-catching downsides. One primary concern is the rise in robotic
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and a decrease in the amount of face-to-face
communication
Use synonyms
 as individuals predominantly rely on digital platforms. To give an example, the generation of
millenials
Correct your spelling
millennials
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 having difficulties engaging in
real world
Add a hyphen
real-world
show examples
 interactions, limiting their ability to develop basic survival skills through the transfer of tacit knowledge.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the speed of the
internet
Use synonyms
 makes dissemination of disinformation rapid,
thus
Linking Words
 enabling chaos to prevail in critical conditions. As a vivid case of
such
Linking Words
 an event, amid the COVID-19 pandemic, there were dozens of resources spreading misleading
information
Use synonyms
 to the
internet
Use synonyms
 which was causing panic and anxiety amongst civilians. In conclusion, whilst the
internet
Use synonyms
's transformative impact on
communication
Use synonyms
 and
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 has some pitfalls, its
overall
Linking Words
 advantage in fostering global connectivity and knowledge transfer makes it more advantageous in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with
limitations
Correct article usage
the limitations
show examples
 described.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In order to improve task achievement, it is essential that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. There needs to be a clear position throughout the response with an unambiguous opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not. Furthermore, be careful not to discuss the topics in a general manner. Instead, focus on providing a more thorough analysis, exploring the nuances of each point made. Expand on your examples to demonstrate the significance of your arguments in relation to the internet's impact on communication and information exchange.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a recognizable structure with an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the essay's logical structure could be improved by linking ideas more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that subsequent sentences support that idea directly. Use a range of cohesive devices to create a seamless flow between sentences and paragraphs. Refrain from using ambiguous terms such as 'information radiators,' which may confuse the reader. Aim for clarity in your expression of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant messaging
  • video calls
  • virtual meetings
  • access to information
  • online banking
  • e-commerce
  • educational resources
  • digital addiction
  • privacy concerns
  • digital divide
  • social media platforms
  • remote work
  • telecommuting
  • cybersecurity
  • streaming services
What to do next:
Look at other essays: