Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that these days rich
countries
help the poor countries
with financial aid
or other think becoming very popular worldwide. However
, the question remains is the money enough to help poor countries
or do they need others' help? is considered one of the most controversial problems today. This
essay will examine both sides of this
issue and will draw my personal conclusion.
On the one hand of the argument, there are people
who believe that the benefits are considerably more than the disadvantages. One of the main reasons for their support of the claim is that rich countries
should give another type , for example
, food and clothes. In fact, some countries
do not have a lot of types of food they have just basic food but also
do not have enough quantities for all the people
who live in this
country. Moreover
, it is also
possible to say that can give others help in education. In other words
, the rich countries
' school
, Fix the agreement mistake
schools
university
and colleges can make Fix the agreement mistake
universities
people
in this
country have good learning and they can develop their country also
, more and more people
can find a job. Thus
, that's why some countries
think the financial aid
is not enough.
On the other hand
, it is also
possible to consider it with the opposing case. It is often argued if rich countries
give poor countries
more than financial aid
, the poor countries
do not develop and become dependent on the other countries
. Oneone
Correct your spelling
One
iullatrate
for Correct your spelling
illiterate
this
is, that Oman give
India a year of financial Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
aid
and other helps
, Indian Change the verb form
help
people
depend on Oman to give them all thinking and they do go to search for job
to develop their Add an article
a job
countries
.
In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both viewpoints, I believe that rich countries
should give poor countries
financial aid
and other type.Submitted by taqwaalsakiti on
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coherence cohesion
The essay suffers from grammatical inaccuracies and lacks a clear overarching structure. Introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity. It is advisable to focus on constructing a clear thesis statement and a concise summarization of the essay's key points.
coherence cohesion
The main points in the essay are supported, but the support is sometimes convoluted and examples provided are not thoroughly explained or directly related to the main argument. Ensure that each paragraph elaborates on a single main point and that examples are specific, directly relevant, and well-explained.
task achievement
The response to the task only partially fulfills the requirements. While both sides of the argument are mentioned, there is an imbalance in discussion and lack of depth in the analysis leading to an underdeveloped argument. The candidate should fully address all parts of the task, ensuring equal treatment and depth for each view before giving a reasoned conclusion.
task achievement
The ideas presented in the essay could be clearer and more comprehensive. It is important to articulate ideas clearly and avoid ambiguity. Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas within and across paragraphs effectively. Strive for paragraph unity and topic coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
More relevant and specific examples are needed to strengthen the essay. While the point about education was a good start, use examples that are directly linked to the argument being made, and be wary of generalizations or unverified statements that can weaken the argument. Draw on well-known facts or scenarios that illustrate the points convincingly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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