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Band 5.5

As the demand for oil and gas continues to rise, there is a growing need to explore these energy sources in remote locations. Do you believe the benefits of exploiting these areas outweigh the drawbacks of causing environmental damage?

#demand #oil #gas #rise #energy #sources #locations #areas #damage
With the progress of
science
 and
technology
, nowadays, most parts of society and the world are affected in aspects of both advantages and disadvantages by environmental
issues
. some insist that the best way to preserve our world and environment is to consider the seriousness of the development of
technology
,
while
 others discuss that advanced
science
 and
technology
 can resolve environmental matters. both views will be discussed, and I opine that the former view is more convincing. On the one hand, some people think that developed
science
 and
technology
 have a detrimental impact on environmental problems, particularly atmospheric
issues
. First and foremost, most of the facilities are burning fossil fuels and releasing a large amount of contaminated gas. Regarding, these gas are contaminating the air and polluting the meteorological state so that the greenhouse effect will become serious and deleterious.
Moreover
, the biodiversity of breeds would be sharply decreased and many species would be extinct just for a few decades for deforestation is caused by the rising temperature.
On the other hand
, others believe that future
technology
 can solve environmental
issues
.
Firstly
, the newly invented energy like solar power, wind power and cleaner fuels will enable corporations and facilities to replace nuclear and present energy to them.
This
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 we can anticipate the noticeably decreasing emission of harmful gas for us.
Secondly
, the new biodegradable packaging by the advanced
technology
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 to reduce the byproducts of the usage of disposable items which result in air pollution when they are burning. In
the
Correct article usage
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conclusion,
although
 the advancement of
technology
 and
science
 can help make better quality of our life and settle environmental
issues
, I believe that the extreme development of
technology
 will cause more terrifying situations.
Submitted by yuqingchen10 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and your thesis statement clearly. The main body should contain well-developed paragraphs, each focusing on one main idea with appropriate supporting details. The conclusion should neatly summarize your points without introducing new information.
Task Achievement
Your response must directly address the prompt. Be sure to develop your arguments adequately and stay on topic. Present relevant examples to support your view. Avoid deviating to unrelated aspects in order to maintain task relevance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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