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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart below shows the results of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #results #survey #people #city #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart depicts the results of a survey which gave the reasons, namely
employment
Use synonyms
,
study
Use synonyms
, family or friends, and adventure that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 resided
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the metropolis of a particular nation between 2000 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the number of 4 categories of reasons increased throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. The
figure
Use synonyms
 for
employment
Use synonyms
 was highest
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for adventure was
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
. At the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, the number of people who moved to the urban city
due to
Linking Words
 career and
study
Use synonyms
 was about 61000 and 25000 respectively. For the next 10 years, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
employment
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically and reached a peak at approximately 92000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
risen
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 significantly to equivalently 55000
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
,
employment
Use synonyms
 declined slightly to about 88000.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 increased sharply
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 about 88000. The number of reasons for family or friends, and adventure started at approximately 11000 and 10500 respectively. For
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 15 years, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for both categories
risen
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 slightly at about 23000 and 15000 respectively.
Submitted by k2englishcenter on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, study, period, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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