Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for students, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion..
It is concurred by many
thay
that physical education should be Correct your spelling
believe
integral
part of school for Change the article
an integral
students
;however
other oppose the idea and believes it should be upto
the student. I Correct your spelling
up to
am largely agree
with the first statement as sports Change the verb form
largely agree
helps
to build Correct subject-verb agreement
help
the
mental and emotional balance in Correct article usage
apply
students
.This
essay will discuss my viewpoints along with
the other side in subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
with, the
sports should be added as an important subject in Correct article usage
apply
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
life
.Exercising daily not only boosts Fix the agreement mistake
lives
the
confidence but Correct article usage
apply
also
helps to maintain the
physical health.Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, at young
Add an article
a young
age
they will gain Add a comma
age,
the
leadership skills which will be helpful in the future.Correct article usage
apply
Due to
this
, youngsters started learning to work in teams which helps to inculcate the
leadership skills.and To epitomize,it has been proven many time, youngsters who Correct article usage
apply
spends
more time in sports comes out to have great cognitive and leadership skills.Change the verb form
spend
Thus
more the exercise, less the depression.
In
the contrary, we should not impose a subject on a student.Rather than asking something against their will, they should be asked their favourite subject.Some Change the preposition
On
students
are intovert
and Correct your spelling
introverted
doesn't
like playing games.Change the verb form
don't
This
will not only deteriorate the mental well being
of a student but Add a hyphen
well-being
also
makes
them depressed.Correct subject-verb agreement
make
For instance
,its
illegal to force a child to follow against their will.As a Replace the word
it's
it is
resuly
.
Correct your spelling
result
Its
is concurred by many thatCorrect your spelling
It
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a logical flow, as the points are not clearly connected and the progression of ideas is disjointed. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and the succeeding sentences expand upon that idea in a logical manner.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but both are incomplete and lacking a definitive stance or summary. The introduction should clearly establish your position on the topic while the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and reiterate your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Some main points are supported with explanations, but the essay needs more specific examples to substantiate the arguments. Strive to incorporate relevant anecdotes, statistics, or studies to enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
task achievement
The response is incomplete, with the essay abruptly ending mid-sentence. Ensure that you complete the essay within the given word count, providing a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal opinion.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear but not fully developed or comprehensive. Work on fully explaining and elaborating on your points to provide a more complete understanding of your position.
task achievement
More relevant and specific examples are needed to support your points effectively. Examples are critical in demonstrating the practical applications and implications of your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example