Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for students, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion..

#people #sport #part #school #life #students

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It is concurred by many

thay

Correct your spelling

believe

that physical education should be

integral

Change the article

an integral

show examples

part of school for

students

Use synonyms

;

however

Linking Words

other oppose the idea and believes it should be

upto

Correct your spelling

up to

the student. I

am largely agree

Change the verb form

largely agree

show examples

with the first statement as sports

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

to build

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental and emotional balance in

students

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss my viewpoints

along with

Linking Words

the other side in subsequent paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports should be added as an important subject in

Use synonyms

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

.Exercising daily not only boosts

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

confidence but

also

Linking Words

helps to maintain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical health.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, at

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age

Add a comma

age,

show examples

they will gain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

leadership skills which will be helpful in the future.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, youngsters started learning to work in teams which helps to inculcate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

leadership skills.and To epitomize,it has been proven many time, youngsters who

spends

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spend

show examples

more time in sports comes out to have great cognitive and leadership skills.

Thus

Linking Words

more the exercise, less the depression.

Change the preposition

show examples

the contrary, we should not impose a subject on a student.Rather than asking something against their will, they should be asked their favourite subject.Some

students

Use synonyms

are

intovert

Correct your spelling

introverted

and

doesn't

Change the verb form

don't

show examples

like playing games.

This

Linking Words

will not only deteriorate the mental

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

of a student but

also

Linking Words

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

them depressed.

For instance

Linking Words

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

illegal to force a child to follow against their will.As a

resuly

Correct your spelling

result

Its

Correct your spelling

show examples

is concurred by many that

Submitted by rajparul86 on Thu Dec 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a logical flow, as the points are not clearly connected and the progression of ideas is disjointed. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and the succeeding sentences expand upon that idea in a logical manner.

coherence cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present, but both are incomplete and lacking a definitive stance or summary. The introduction should clearly establish your position on the topic while the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and reiterate your viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Some main points are supported with explanations, but the essay needs more specific examples to substantiate the arguments. Strive to incorporate relevant anecdotes, statistics, or studies to enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.

task achievement

The response is incomplete, with the essay abruptly ending mid-sentence. Ensure that you complete the essay within the given word count, providing a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal opinion.

task achievement

Your ideas are somewhat clear but not fully developed or comprehensive. Work on fully explaining and elaborating on your points to provide a more complete understanding of your position.

task achievement

More relevant and specific examples are needed to support your points effectively. Examples are critical in demonstrating the practical applications and implications of your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

220 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

integral component
promote teamwork
healthy lifestyle
mandatory
talents and interests
cognitive functions
academic performance
stress and anxiety
physical constraints
medical conditions
engagement
skills development
precedence
future opportunities
balanced approach
individual preferences
physical education

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Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for students, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion..

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More and more children are becoming obese. What are the causes of this and what are the solutions?

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?

Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to old people, while others think people should save money for their future life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that a job provides both income and for a social life, while others think that friends should be made outside of work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.