IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, people have greater access to fast food. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadavantages?

It is certainly true that fast
food
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 can be seen and bought from anywhere in
this
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 era.
While
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 accepting that everyone can have more fast
food
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 than in the past, I believe that consuming fast
food
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 is more likely to have a harmful impact. On the one hand, there are several benefits of
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
 being available for everyone. A common advantage is that buyers can save more time and expenses on their meals.
For instance
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, the average price range of fast
food
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 varies from 3$ to 8$, which is 20% cheaper than regular slow-cooked
food
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 .
Furthermore
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, it takes much less time to serve a fast
food
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 item and it can be eaten anywhere
such
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 as in a car, a park,... These are reasons why fast
food
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 is widely consumed
among
Change preposition
by
show examples
people
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.
On the other hand
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, I am of the opinion that the aforementioned advantages are at the expense of greater drawbacks. One obvious disadvantage is that fast
food
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 doesn't have any
nutrional
Correct your spelling
nutritional
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 and it is detrimental to
people
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's health.
For example
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, a study from
American
Correct article usage
the American
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 Health Association showed that
people
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 who
consuming
Change the form of the verb
consume
show examples
 fast
food
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 are more likely to have high blood pressure , obesity,... Another negative effect is that
people
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 are forming harmful eating habits because the number of fast
food
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 chains
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 numerous.
According to
Linking Words
 statistics, the fast
food
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 industry takes up to 60% of the cuisine industry
therefore
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 buyers don't have a wide range of options. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 buyers can save a lot of money and time when having fast
food
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instead
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 of others, it is obvious that
people
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 having more access to fast
food
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 can cause more harm than benefits.

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Introduction
Ensure a clear introduction that explicitly addresses the question. Your introduction briefly mentions the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss.
Logical Structure
Develop a logical structure throughout the essay. Your paragraphs need clearer topic sentences and more cohesive devices to guide the reader through your discussion.
Conclusion
Provide a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position. Your conclusion is present but it should more effectively synthesize the information presented.
Supported Main Points
Support main points with relevant, developed examples. You provided examples but they should be more detailed and clearly connected to the main points you are making.
Complete Response
Address the task directly and ensure a complete response. While you have mentioned both sides of the argument, you need to balance the discussion to fully cover the advantages and disadvantages as the question requires.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Express clear and comprehensive ideas with supporting details. Your ideas are somewhat clear but require further development to fully explain the reasoning behind your claims.
Relevant and Specific Examples
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. The examples you provided are too generic; try to offer more specific real-world scenarios or statistics to strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Economic stimulus
  • Accessibility
  • Obesity
  • Cardiovascular diseases
  • Nutritional value
  • Environmental impact
  • Cultural degradation
  • Packaging waste
  • Carbon footprint
  • Global brands
  • Local food heritage
  • Dietary needs
  • Franchises
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