IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all money they earn and should not pay any tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #money #tax
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People have to pay the
tax
 to the state when earning a certain amount of
money
 in most countries, which
therefore
Rephrase
apply
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triggers a debate because some of them claim that it is unnecessary for them to be taxed. From my perspective, I totally disagree with
this
 opinion, believing that all qualified taxpayers should fulfil their duties since taxation plays a key role in our society. On the one hand, it is true that some people should be immune to paying taxes,
therefore
 saving all hard-earned
money
.
Firstly
, a great number of breadwinners from disadvantaged backgrounds can earn a little
money
, which only makes ends meet. If paying for the government, they would be unable to afford essential expenses for the family,
such
 as health care, tuition and so on.
As a result
, it will make it impossible for them to get rid of the poverty trap.
Furthermore
,
tax
 exemption can fuel the economy to a certain extent, since citizens can have more spare
money
 spent on real estate and automobiles, to name but a few.
On the other hand
, the system of taxation functions as not only a powerful means of bridging the gap between the haves and have-nots but
also
 a major contributor to the development of the
country
. For one thing, levying
tax
 on qualified taxpayers, especially high-incomers, can redistribute the wealth created in the community.
For instance
, the more
money
 they earn, the higher proportion of
tax
 levied in most regions. For another, the public fund is mainly supported by the
tax
, which contributes greatly to infrastructure, self-defence and education. Without the support of taxation, the
country
 may face financial obstacles. which in turn will exert negative influences on both individuals and the neighbourhood.
For example
, enterprises can hardly survive
for
Change preposition
because of
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 the
country
's lack of electricity and energy supply in the region, which,
however
, are mostly funded by taxing individuals. In conclusion, all citizens in the
country
 should shoulder the responsibility of paying taxes albeit some exemptions for the underprivileged ought to be taken into consideration.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your essay contains all the necessary components, but the conclusion could be more clearly tied back to the initial argument to emphasize your position on the subject.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, each paragraph should contain one main idea, consistently developed. While the main points in your essay are supported, at times, the support is broad or lacks depth. Aim to enhance the development of each paragraph with more detailed explanations or specific examples.
task achievement
To achieve task response criteria, it's important to fully address the prompt. You responded to the question asked but could improve by providing more detailed reasoning and examples that directly relate to the topic. Some general statements could be replaced with more specific, targeted discussions of how and why taxation is essential.
task achievement
To ensure a complete response, make sure that your position is clear throughout the essay and that you have thoroughly responded to each aspect of the task. Your personal stance is clear, but you might consider exploring counterarguments more fully to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively by exploring them in depth and engaging critically with the question. Your essay presents relevant ideas, but could benefit from a deeper analysis and more varied sentence structures to better express nuances.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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