You and your family are moving to another country for work, and you are looking to buy a house there. Write a letter to a property agent. In your letter: Introduce yourself and your family Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find Give your preference for the location of the accommodation Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: To Whom it May Concern,
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am Gill and I am writing
this
in regard of
buying a new home. My family has three members, my mother, father and me. We are looking for something big and affordable. Me and my father we both work from home and my mother is Change preposition
to
housewife
.
I am looking for a 3 bedroom and 2 bath house in a Add an article
a housewife
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
neighborhood
and some parks nearby will make it even Change the spelling
neighbourhood
more
better. Change the word
apply
Moreover
, I will be glad if there will be a
office room as well in Change the article
an
house
. A double garage and a big backyard are Add an article
the house
also
in
Change preposition
on
list
of my preferences. If you can find something within my budget like Add an article
the list
this
that will be great.
If I talk about location, countryside
area will be more preferred by me and my family. Bolton city is on top of Correct article usage
the countryside
list
of my favourite cities followed by Add an article
the list
milton
and King Change the capitalization
Milton
city
. I Capitalize word
City
will
really appreciate Wrong verb form
would
if
you Correct pronoun usage
it if
will
find me something that I am looking for.
I look forward to a positive response.
Yours sincerely,
Gill.Wrong verb form
would
Submitted by gill.g24 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a singular, well-developed idea. Some paragraphs in your letter contained multiple points that could be more effectively organized into separate paragraphs for clarity and stronger coherence.
task achievement
It is important to fully extend and support each point you make. While you did cover all the required elements of the task, adding more details and development to each point would enhance your response.
language use
Consider using a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to showcase your language skills. This will make your writing appear more sophisticated and can positively impact your score.
language use
Work on your grammar and punctuation as there were several errors in your letter. Accurate use of language is essential to achieve a higher score in this criterion.
overall comment
Overall, you need to refine your organization and development of ideas within the letter. This will help in achieving a higher band score for the coherence and cohesion criterion.