IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do vou agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language #vou
There is an argument that
,
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apply
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people
 who are living in a foreign
country
 face community and active
issues
 from there.I strongly agree with
this
 statement because there are many immigrants having trouble in foreign countries
due to
language
 and cultural differences.
Firstly
,
people
 who are from
Asian
Correct your spelling
Asia
show examples
 and living in Western countries face
problems
 with
language
.Because even
asians
Change the capitalization
Asians
show examples
 speak English as a common
language
 when they live in a native English speakers
country
 it is not enough to communicate. The
problems
 they mainly encounter is slang differences, speaking tone
different
Replace the word
differences
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 and native
people
 using abbreviation sometimes couldn't understand.
Therefore
, the key point of communication between two
people
 became an issue when they misunderstood the meanings.
However
, it can be overcome when spending more time in those places.
Secondly
, there are always active
problems
 in different cultures. Still, Asian immigrants have trouble with adapting to
a new cultures
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new culture
new cultures
show examples
 or following their own culture in a foreign
country
.
Such
 as religious beliefs, foods, cultural attires and festivals.These main things are always
issues
 for immigrants because
,
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apply
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 sometimes they cannot practice their religion in certain places which will create conflicts between native
people
 and
also
 they
couldn't
Wrong verb form
can't
show examples
 find the proper food as their need is very hard. In some workplaces getting leaves for their festivals and fasting is not very easy.
Whereas
, living as an immigrant or foreign student is not an easy thing. To summarize,
people
 who are living as an immigrant face real-life
problems
 in many ways.
According to
 my point of view, they are facing real
issues
 in communicating with native
people
 and facing
problems
 in following their own culture in a different
country
. Even
language
 can be overcome through time but religious and races related
issues
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 find any solution
Submitted by me.sara22 on

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task achievement
While you have attempted to address the task and present relevant main points, the overall development of these points is somewhat limited. It is important to expand upon your arguments with clearer, more developed examples and explanations in order to achieve a higher band score.
coherence cohesion
The essay has some organization, but it lacks clear progression in places. Paragraphs need to have clear central topics, and ideas should be sequenced logically with the use of cohesive devices to better link them together. Aim to make your main points clearer, with topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs, followed by supporting details and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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