It is believed that, the major proportion of goverment budget sould be divided to health education and safety facilities.

#proportion #goverment #budget #sould #health #education #safety #facilities

It is believed that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the major proportion of

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

budget

sould

Correct your spelling

should

could

be divided

Change preposition

into

show examples

health

education and safety facilities.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

there are

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

some discussable

points

, in my view, I agree that

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

resources of

state

Correct article usage

the state

show examples

budget spread out

Correct article usage

an acknowledment

show examples

acknowledment

Correct your spelling

acknowledgement

health

and the main specific

points

Change preposition

to preventation

show examples

preventation

Correct your spelling

prevention

presentation

issues.

To begin

, there

some

Add a missing verb

are some

show examples

points

that I disagree

such

divided

Wrong verb form

dividing

show examples

the main resource to

health

knowledge

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Nowdays

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nowadays

show examples

, have

negative

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a negative

show examples

tendency in

worldvide related

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world-vide-related

illness

and education. Most of

country

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the country

show examples

do not

provided

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provide

show examples

all

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of safety and

health

equipment.

Due to

this

fact,

any

Correct determiner usage

show examples

tools or equipment have been provided by

goverment instutions

Correct your spelling

government institutions

For example

Covid-19

Correct article usage

the Covid-19

show examples

pandemic was spread out speadly and nobody had

knowledge

Correct article usage

the knowledge

show examples

and technique to

prevet

Correct your spelling

prevent

show examples

this

illness

this

case

knowledge

about

virus

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the virus

a virus

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is not prevent us from

this

pandemic. In

despite

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spite

show examples

this

fact,

acknowledge

Wrong verb form

acknowledging

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

health

and

used to

Wrong verb form

using

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some technique is

noticable

Correct your spelling

noticeable

points

for people.

Goverment

Correct your spelling

Government

should

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

give

knowledge

and ability related

this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

topic for citizenship which it be helpful and important for all

side

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sides

show examples

of human life.

This

education

have begin

Wrong verb form

begins

show examples

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

years because

child

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children

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and teenagers have moderately low immun

system

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systems

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and

level

Correct pronoun usage

their level

show examples

ilness

Correct your spelling

illness

is much

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

than

adult

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adults

show examples

For example

, in Turkiye,

goverment instutions

Correct your spelling

government institutions

are partaking

some

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in some

show examples

compaign

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campaigns

about

Correct article usage

a healty

show examples

healty

Correct your spelling

healthy

life and

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

noticable

Correct your spelling

noticeable

information

actual

Change preposition

about actual

show examples

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

. In conclusion, I strongly agree that,

major

Add an article

a major

the major

show examples

part of the state resources

divided

Add a missing verb

is divided

show examples

not only

improving

Change preposition

by improving

show examples

level

Add an article

the level

show examples

of quality of hospitals, but

also

add

Wrong verb form

by adding

show examples

value to people about

preventation

Correct your spelling

prevention

from

Change preposition

show examples

illness

and

unsafety

Correct article usage

an unsafety

show examples

enviroment

Correct your spelling

environment

Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on Thu Dec 07 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should clearly serve its purpose: the introduction to present the topic, the body to provide arguments and examples, and the conclusion to summarize the essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating a logical flow within your essay. Your paragraphs should follow a clear sequence, and the ideas within them should be ordered logically.

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points by providing clear, relevant examples and evidence. This will help strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

task achievement

Address the task directly and ensure that you provide a full response to all parts of the question. Your essay should remain focused on the topic throughout.

task achievement

Work on articulating your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. This includes proper structuring of sentences and clarity in presenting your viewpoints.

task achievement

Incorporate specific examples that are directly related to the topic to support your ideas. These should be drawn from credible sources or personal experiences.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
63Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is believed that, the major proportion of goverment budget sould be divided to health education and safety facilities.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

International travel brings benefits to travellers and the countries visited, but it also harms for the environment. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?