Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#directors #organizations #salaries #employees #people

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There is a disagreement about the salary

that is

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given to company owners and their

workers

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Although

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some people consider that business runners receive fair

wages

Use synonyms

according to

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their efforts towards their team, others believe that

team

Fix the agreement mistake

teams

show examples

who are doing a variety of tasks at their workplace are worth the same salary as their employers. Obviously, in many big companies, managers earn a large amount of money compared to

workers

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. In fact, it can be explained by the stress and time they put into developing their companies.

Moreover

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, they spent a significant amount of capital to build their products.

For example

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, the owner of Wildberries (the internet shop) created her company by taking risks and borrowing loans from banks, but now she manages thousands of people with large amounts of money.

As a result

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it is clear that

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directors take much more payment because they put themselves at risk by placing bets at the beginning of their journey.

Therefore

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, they mostly spend their incomes on the

further

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prosperity of the industry. Despite several factors, some

workers

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complain about their

wages

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. It is considerably less when compared with bosses.

As a result

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, employees have complained, and they explain

this

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by saying that their desire to work productively and achieve great results has decreased.

However

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, as is widely known, many company

workers

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receive their

wages

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and even extra bonuses, notwithstanding the financial conditions of the organization.

For instance

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, a survey showed people who take an extra premium in their workplace feel satisfied with their work and try to put more effort into their tasks.

Thus

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, it is essential to award each member of the firm based on budget in order to achieve a friendly and ambitious atmosphere. In conclusion, it would be fair if the director received more money if his employees were

also

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satisfied with their

wages

Use synonyms

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Wed May 08 2024

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Structure

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each section should distinctly serve its purpose, with the introduction presenting the topic and your viewpoint, body paragraphs discussing each view, and the conclusion summarizing your opinion and the discussion.

Task Response

Aim to clearly state your own opinion in the essay, especially in the conclusion. While discussing both views is crucial, making your standpoint clear will fulfill the task requirement more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices to better link your ideas and paragraphs. While some cohesion is present, greater use of linking words and phrases can enhance the readability and flow of your essay.

Development

Develop your paragraphs with more detailed examples and explanations. Providing more specific instances or elaborating on your examples could strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Balanced Discussion

You have provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints on the issue, which is a key requirement of the task.

Use of Examples

Your essay contains relevant examples that support the points made, contributing positively to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that time spent on electronic games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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