IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s fast-paced life,
people
Use synonyms
 depend more on purchasing fast
food
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 is becoming more cheaper, easily, and widely available in the market.
This
Linking Words
 action has more demerits than merits which I will explain
further
Linking Words
 with related examples in the following essay. In present times, a wide range of fast
food
Use synonyms
 is available
according to
Linking Words
 customer’s choices.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are several drawbacks that can be considered. First and foremost, fast
food
Use synonyms
 is extremely unhealthy for the human body.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from some health-related issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, individuals who are eating more
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 its lower cost are having obesity issues. The other disadvantage is that because of
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
’s easy availability,
people
Use synonyms
 try to buy that type of
food
Use synonyms
 very frequently in their hectic schedule.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their digestion system is getting weak by consuming unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, one cannot able to get
Correct article usage
the
show examples
proper importance of homemade cuisine because of often eating and purchasing fast
food
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we cannot ignore the benefits.
Junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 is readily available in the market, which can be helpful for individuals to fulfil their hunger. To illustrate, a study by the University of Waterloo mentioned that 50% of youngsters prefer to eat
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as pizza, burgers, pasta, and many more rather than healthy
food
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , street
food
Use synonyms
 has a lot of disadvantages related to our health.
Also
Linking Words
, its simple availability and budget-friendly qualities are attracting
people
Use synonyms
 more towards its purchase.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that your main points are effectively supported by specific examples or evidence. For instance, you briefly mention obesity related to junk food but could delve deeper into statistics or studies to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow between your ideas. Use linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between paragraphs, making the essay easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Recheck sentence structures for clarity. Some sentences could be simplified or rephrased for better comprehension, such as 'one cannot able to get proper importance' which could be rephrased to 'one cannot fully appreciate the importance' for clarity.
Task Achievement
You provide clear identification of both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion about fast food, outlining that you will discuss both sides of the argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: