Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answers and provide relevant example and experience you might have.

#people #women #parents #men #role #children #societies #point #answers

Parents

are

children

's first teachers, they are the first people who impact knowledge in a

child

While

some people believe either men or women have a greater role in raising kids, I would argue that

both

parents

are better off raising the

children

together.

Due to

the various impacts they

both

have on the

children

. Nowadays, the mental upbringing of a

child

is really important. An individual raised by a single mother or

father

has a different mentality when compared to that of a person who was raised by

both

parents

. The collective efforts by

both

parents

are part of the element that

shape

Correct subject-verb agreement

shapes

show examples

an individual to become a law-abiding citizen of a society member.

For instance

, the presence of a

father

or a

father

figure in the life of a male

child

is invaluable. The

father

teaches a male

child

the masculine traits that men are supposed to possess. The presence of a mother is

also

as significant in the life of a female

child

as much as that of a

father

. Another important aspect of

both

parents

raising

children

is that when one is strict the other will be friendly.

Therefore

, with the combination of

both

parents

child

's mental state will be balanced. In conclusion,

Both

parents

Change noun form

parent's

parents'

show examples

presence is paramount in raising a

child

Submitted by bonuhelen on Thu Dec 07 2023

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Task Achievement

You should ensure that you fully address the prompt by giving a balanced view and discussing both sides of the argument before giving your own opinion. While you stated your opinion, it would be beneficial to explore the reasons why some people might think women are better parents than men to provide a more thorough discussion.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, think about the logical flow between ideas. Use cohesive devices such as 'However,' 'For example,' and 'In contrast' to make clear connections between your points. Also, be consistent in your paragraph structure, ideally with an introduction sentence, supporting sentences and a concluding sentence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

parenting
nurturing
paternal
maternal
societal expectations
gender roles
co-parenting
emotional intelligence
child-rearing
caregiver
egalitarian
stereotype
nuclear family
single parent
shared custody
bonding
child development
primary caregiver
compassionate
empathetic

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