Some people believe that the purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society, while others think that education should help people pursue personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #purpose #education #individuals #society #ambitions

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When it comes to the purpose of

education

, opinions are divided as some see its primary role as preparing

individuals

to be useful to

society

while

others believe it should primarily serve people's personal ambitions. In my view,

education

should strike a balance between these two objectives, catering to the needs of

society

as well as

the aspirations of the individual. Those who see

education

as a tool for societal utility argue that it should produce

individuals

who can contribute effectively to the economic and social fabric of their communities.

This

perspective emphasises the importance of equipping students with practical skills and knowledge that align with the demands of the job market.

Such

an approach is crucial for the economic development and stability of any

society

Remove the comma

apply

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because it ensures a workforce

that is

both skilled and employable.

However

, the importance of

education

to individual ambitions and personal growth is hard to dismiss. Advocates of

this

view argue that

education

should nurture creativity, critical thinking, and personal exploration, allowing

individuals

to realise their unique potential.

This

approach not only fosters self-actualisation but

also

encourages the development of innovators and original thinkers who can contribute uniquely to

society

. In conclusion,

education

should ideally encompass both

these

Change preposition

of these

show examples

perspectives. By providing a balanced curriculum that caters to the practical needs of

society

while

also

encouraging individual exploration and creativity,

education

can produce well-rounded

individuals

. Their capability of contributing effectively to their communities

while

pursuing personal fulfilment and growth will likely lead to a more dynamic and prosperous

society

Submitted by s_syedy on Thu Dec 07 2023

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task achievement

The essay presents a view on both perspectives and attempts a balanced conclusion. Ensure that the position is present throughout the essay and not just in the conclusion. Introduction and conclusion are present, but could be strengthened to better reflect the essay's argument structure.

coherence cohesion

There is an obvious structure, but transitions between points can be improved for better flow. Use a range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs are well-developed with clear central ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preparation
beneficial
society
skills
knowledge
civic responsibility
active participation
social initiatives
societal issues
solutions
specialized professions
personal growth
self-fulfillment
passions
interests
potential
talents
job prospects
financial stability
balance
meaningful
foundation
emphasis

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