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Band 5.5

Some people believe that the purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society, while others think that education should help people pursue personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #purpose #education #individuals #society #ambitions
When it comes to the purpose of
education
, opinions are divided as some see its primary role as preparing
individuals
 to be useful to
society
while
 others believe it should primarily serve people's personal ambitions. In my view,
education
 should strike a balance between these two objectives, catering to the needs of
society
as well as
 the aspirations of the individual. Those who see
education
 as a tool for societal utility argue that it should produce
individuals
 who can contribute effectively to the economic and social fabric of their communities.
This
 perspective emphasises the importance of equipping students with practical skills and knowledge that align with the demands of the job market.
Such
 an approach is crucial for the economic development and stability of any
society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it ensures a workforce
that is
 both skilled and employable.
However
, the importance of
education
 to individual ambitions and personal growth is hard to dismiss. Advocates of
this
 view argue that
education
 should nurture creativity, critical thinking, and personal exploration, allowing
individuals
 to realise their unique potential.
This
 approach not only fosters self-actualisation but
also
 encourages the development of innovators and original thinkers who can contribute uniquely to
society
. In conclusion,
education
 should ideally encompass both
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 perspectives. By providing a balanced curriculum that caters to the practical needs of
society
while
also
 encouraging individual exploration and creativity,
education
 can produce well-rounded
individuals
. Their capability of contributing effectively to their communities
while
 pursuing personal fulfilment and growth will likely lead to a more dynamic and prosperous
society
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
The essay presents a view on both perspectives and attempts a balanced conclusion. Ensure that the position is present throughout the essay and not just in the conclusion. Introduction and conclusion are present, but could be strengthened to better reflect the essay's argument structure.
coherence cohesion
There is an obvious structure, but transitions between points can be improved for better flow. Use a range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs are well-developed with clear central ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preparation
  • beneficial
  • society
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • civic responsibility
  • active participation
  • social initiatives
  • societal issues
  • solutions
  • specialized professions
  • personal growth
  • self-fulfillment
  • passions
  • interests
  • potential
  • talents
  • job prospects
  • financial stability
  • balance
  • meaningful
  • foundation
  • emphasis
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