IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 closed and the ones opened for a seven-
year
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
 since 2011 in one country. During
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
, openings experienced
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
show examples
 decline
while
Linking Words
 closures witnessed a slight reduction. Commencing at
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 rate of 8500 new
shops
Use synonyms
 joining (highest amount ever) and 6400 leaving the market chain in 2011, in the following
year
Use synonyms
, closure rates eclipsed that of
opennings
Correct your spelling
openings
. Seeing a sharp reduction to almost 4000
openned
Correct your spelling
open
shops
Use synonyms
, the trend witnessed a linearly mild climb for a two-
year
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
 up to 6100
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2014. On the flip side, closures witnessed mild fluctuations for the first three years, reaching close to
oppenings
Correct your spelling
openings
 in 2014. Since 2014, closed
shops
Use synonyms
 established the lowest rate ever by only 500 added
stores
Use synonyms
, regaining 5000 newly closed
shops
Use synonyms
 by the following
year
Use synonyms
, it remained almost constant with negligible fluctuations until the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opened
stores
Use synonyms
 saw a mild reduction since 2014, overshadowing that of openings,
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off at 4000
stores
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 for two consecutive years up to 2017.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 during the
last
Linking Words
Use synonyms
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 it experienced a moderate decline to be finished at 3000
stores
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, period, year, stores with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduction" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: