IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below describes water usage for 3 different purposes in 6 countries in 2003.

The table below describes water usage for 3 different purposes in 6 countries in 2003.
The table shows
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
, United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
,
China
Use synonyms
,
Australia
Use synonyms
,
India
Use synonyms
 &
Japan
Use synonyms
 for domestic, industrial & agricultural in 6 countries in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2003.
Australia
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest proportion of
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in
domestic
Add an article
the domestic
show examples
 sector among the five countries of 65%, followed by
Canada
Use synonyms
 with 63% of
water
Use synonyms
 usage.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 consumed only 6% and 5% of
water
Use synonyms
 in
domestic
Correct article usage
the domestic
show examples
 sector respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
 used 19% and 10% of
water
Use synonyms
 respectively for domestic
demand
Use synonyms
. It is obvious that
Canada
Use synonyms
 consumed about 32% of
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 consumed 15% for the industry
demand
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
,
China
Use synonyms
 &
Use synonyms
Australia
Correct word choice
and Australia
show examples
 recorded below 10% of the use of
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.
United
Correct article usage
The United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 had the highest
demand
Use synonyms
Change preposition
for
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 for agricultural
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 with 90% percentage, followed by
China
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
, both 87% and 82%. Meanwhile,
Japan
Use synonyms
's use of
water
Use synonyms
 for agriculture
demand
Use synonyms
 reached about 66%.
Australia
Use synonyms
's
demand
Use synonyms
 for
water
Use synonyms
 recorded half
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
 of
Japan
Use synonyms
's
consumption
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
Canada
Use synonyms
 recorded the lowest
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 of 5%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, consumption, canada, kingdom, china, australia, india, japan, demand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • domestic usage
  • industrial usage
  • agricultural usage
  • cubic meters
  • per capita
  • water-intensive industries
  • sustainable water management
  • irrigation practices
  • efficient water use
  • developed vs developing nations
  • water scarcity
  • desalination
  • water footprint
  • resource allocation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: