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Band 2

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now , and how it will look after redevelopment .

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment
The maps illustrate
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 development of
university's
Correct article usage
the university's
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 centre as
campared
Correct your spelling
compared
 present .
Overall
 , it can be seen that now university
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 establishment is quite undevelopment now but in the future
area
 will
have been
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 more industrial.
According to
 the maps , there will just two places will have remained constantly in the future plan
while
outodoor
Correct your spelling
outdoor
 courts will have destroyed to make room for
Correct article usage
the laisure
show examples
laisure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 pool on the left of the map.Another striking change ,
changing
Correct article usage
the changing
show examples
 room and sports shop may
will have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 constructed
opposite
Change preposition
on opposite
show examples
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of the laisure pool or
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of the map respectively .
Moreover
 , outdoor courts which will
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
situated in front of
cafe
Add an article
the cafe
a cafe
show examples
, will
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
knocked down in order to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
Sports
Correct article usage
a Sports
show examples
 hall
north east
Correct your spelling
northeast
show examples
 of the
area
. Another notable modification
,Dance
Correct your spelling
the dance
 studio will going to get constructed in the north-east of
port
Add an article
the port
show examples
 of the
area
.
Cafe
Correct article usage
The cafe
show examples
structure will
also
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 built so that
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
show examples
 of
residential
Correct article usage
the residential
show examples
area
 on the south of the map
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical structure and paragraphing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are not clearly defined or are missing, which is required to frame the report effectively.
coherence cohesion
While some description of changes is provided, there's a need for improved clarity in supporting the main points with specific details.
task achievement
The task is not fully completed as some information is missing or unclear, and the description of the proposed changes is not comprehensive.
task achievement
The ideas expressed are unclear and confusing at times, which makes it challenging to understand the overall intentions of the redevelopment plan.
task achievement
Although there are some examples provided, more specific details and examples about the changes to the layout are needed to effectively support the description.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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