Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading storybooks are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With a thriving awareness of
children
's development, parents nowadays have more choices for their
kids
to make in their childhood.
Although
some folks suggest that reading
storybooks
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
less practical for
children
to learn than cultivating their other talents, I consider that the positive effects reading brings outweigh the negative ones. To some people,
storybooks
are regarded as useless for
children
because they contain limited knowledge. Usually,
storybooks
are written with simple, easy-understanding sentences and illustrations.
Thus
, some parents might think they have fewer similarities in their kid's developmental intelligence.
In addition
, more people decide to cultivate their
children
with other useful activities, so that they can be versatile.
For instance
, many
children
start to learn music,
such
as playing the piano, at a very young age because their family members believe it is a great activity to achieve.
However
,
storybooks
are actually excellent sources for
children
to learn.
First,
it helps
kids
to organize their ideas. Using simple words to make stories doesn't mean they lack content;
instead
, those stories are suitable for
kids
to comprehend some thoughts and understand some expressions.
Also
, illustrations in books can stimulate
children
's imagination. What's more,
children
can learn how to organize ideas by words.
For example
, a study shows that some
children
find it difficult to learn new things because they spend too much time on electronic devices
instead
of books.
To conclude
, every activity may have in great influence on a child's development.
Nevertheless
, reading
storybooks
can improve not only the expression but
also
the comprehension of
children
.
It is clear that
reading
storybooks
is definitely not a time-wasting stuff but a successful method to educate
kids
.
Submitted by yitsen210134 on

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coherence cohesion
While there is a logical progression of ideas, the essay could benefit from more varied connectives and transition phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be strengthened with clearer thesis statements and a more pronounced summary of the main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, yet they lack depth. Incorporating more detailed explanations and a variety of examples would add richness to your arguments.
task achievement
You addressed the task, but the response would improve with a more precise argument that directly addresses the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement.
task achievement
You presented clear ideas; however, they could be more fully developed. Spend more time expanding on each idea to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to underpin your arguments. While the study mention adds credibility, provide more illustrative examples to enhance your points.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • innovative
  • enhances
  • foundational
  • effective communication
  • fosters
  • empathy
  • diverse cultures
  • perspectives
  • vital
  • social emotional learning
  • lifelong love
  • continuous learning
  • personal development
  • excessive screen time
  • healthier alternative
  • moral values
  • ethics
  • character building
  • societal harmony
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