IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The three pie charts illustrate how many hours spent in a library by undergraduate and postgraduates compared to the total student population at a university in Britain.

The three pie charts illustrate how many hours spent in a library by undergraduate and postgraduates compared to the total student population at a university in Britain.
The presented graph provides information about the number of
booksborrowed
Correct your spelling
books borrowed
 from four distinct types of village libraries over four months in 2014,
while
Linking Words
 the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the fraction of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed by five categories during
this
Linking Words
 period. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective ,the trends of West Eaton and Church Mount experienced significant growth,
whereas
Linking Words
 Ryeslip showed a considerable decline.
Additionally
Linking Words
,we can see on the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 that fiction
books
Use synonyms
 were the most favoured type of book over the time period.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Ryeslip recorded the highest number of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed in June, with 300
books
Use synonyms
 and six times more than the figures for West Eaton and Church Mount(50).
However
Linking Words
, Ryeslip underwent a sharp decline, steadily falling to almost 170
books
Use synonyms
 by September.
In addition
Linking Words
, West Eaton and Church Mountsaw considerable increases, with both rising to 150
books
Use synonyms
 by September. Turning to the pie
chart
Use synonyms
, Fiction
books
Use synonyms
 contributed the largest segment of borrowings, constituting 43% of the total. Biography
books
Use synonyms
 were the second most borrowed book type with nineteen
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 Science and History each experienced minor, equal proportions of 14%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the figures for Self-help
books
Use synonyms
 counted ten
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 and showed the lowest number in the
chart
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • undergraduate
  • postgraduate
  • time brackets
  • library usage
  • total student population
  • correlation
  • patterns
  • comparison
  • study level
  • time spent
  • academic demands
  • research intensity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: