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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case
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In the present time, numerous individual tends to work on their own rather than being hired by a company or special organ,
in contrast
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 to the past they were interested in being employed by some company.in
this
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 essay, I will examine the reasons behind it and introduce some drawbacks.
To begin
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 with, there are some reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 might like to work for themselves.
Firstly
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 it gives them a good space to show their abilities,
such
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 as job management and
also
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 how to overcome bad circumstances
.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
furthermore
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 they will have flexible time to do their assignments,
for example
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, they don’t need to wake up early or finish their duty and they would able improve their life skills ,
for instance
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, to give hand to family members or friends.
Nonetheless
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, there could be a number of drawbacks to being self-employed. First and foremost, a lack of sense of jab security
such
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 as income or insurance may force the majority of individuals to be hired by companies or organisations,
while
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 the group of
people
Use synonyms
 who are working for companies or organisations succeed in their position, tempt others to be hired somewhere like companies.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 may be stressed as long as they don’t have an obvious career path so their life might be affected by stress
as a result
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 they might not concentrate on their family or routines . In sum , many
people
Use synonyms
 become self-employed because they want to have flexible time for themselves or
hey
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they
show examples
 want to show their abilities by having their own business.
nevertheless
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, self-
emplyment
Correct your spelling
employment
 is not an easy path;it can bring stress and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of job security
Submitted by sinaazimifar on

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task achievement
The essay partially addresses both parts of the task. However, it is necessary to develop ideas more fully and provide specific examples to support the arguments better and achieve a higher score.
coherence cohesion
Logical sequencing of information and paragraphing are evident. However, the essay would benefit from better use of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences to improve the overall readability and structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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