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Band 7

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they receive form employers.

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they receive form employers.
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The two bar charts compare the causes motivating different
age
Use synonyms
 groups of people to study and the status quo of receiving
support
Use synonyms
 from their employers, individually. It is obvious that the younger they are the higher
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of learners driven by career pursuit for
further
Linking Words
 study, and vice versa,
however
Linking Words
, the older they are the more of them engage in studying motivated by interest. Employers are more inclined to render assistance to
students
Use synonyms
 aged under 26
years
Use synonyms
 old, whilst the middle-aged group in their thirties is the least one obtaining
support
Use synonyms
 from bosses. In terms of the reasons why
students
Use synonyms
 are eager to learn, 80% of them are career-oriented,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for interest stands at only 10%. As
age
Use synonyms
 increases, there is an upward trend for
students
Use synonyms
 who are interested in learning,
whereas
Linking Words
 the reverse is true for career-oriented
students
Use synonyms
, in which 70% of
students
Use synonyms
 are out of interest in studying when ageing above 49
years
Use synonyms
 old which is 3 times greater than their counterparts pursuing career success. With regard to employer
support
Use synonyms
, more than 70% of
students
Use synonyms
 under the
age
Use synonyms
 of 26
years
Use synonyms
 old can be subsidized by their companies with time and money. The amount of
support
Use synonyms
 received
then
Linking Words
 experiences a downward trend with
age
Use synonyms
, which is halved for
students
Use synonyms
 aged between 30 and 39
years
Use synonyms
 old.
However
Linking Words
, the percentages of
students
Use synonyms
 aged in their forties and over 49
years
Use synonyms
 old
rise
Replace the word
rose
show examples
 to 38% and 45% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, support, students, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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