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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Option A- Shopping comlex OPTION b- rECREATIONAL PARK

#option #a- #comlex #b- #park
while
 constructing a Shopping complex has its own benefits I opine that building a Recreational park in the centre of the Town will be an
apropos
Correct word choice
appropriate
show examples
 solution for the following reasons. Conspicuously, since a plethora of individuals
commute
Change the verb form
commutes
show examples
 to nearby cities to access sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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,having an athletic
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in our
city
 will give access to people.Apparently , it
also
 contributes to the physical well-being of the citizens.In the recent cricket competition, our
city
 lost many matches
due to
 lack of practice in the vast grounds,
this
 will be a great benefit to the cricket players. Since the
city
 is rapidly growing, building a park in the centre of the
city
 will be a great idea considering the future development as we might not have enough land in future in the middle of the community.The public can easily access the park to refresh during their free time .
Additionally
, incorporating a small pet Zoo will be a great idea because many families cannot afford habitats in their homes and children can have fun and maintain good relations with the animals in the zoo . Based on the aforementioned reasoning I still stand by my stance.
That is
,constructing a sports complex is not a good option.
Submitted by vicky.kallem on

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task achievement
Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement which directly addresses the topic. Ensure that your introduction closes with a sentence that clearly states your position on the matter.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay could be improved for better clarity. Aim to have a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of the paragraph.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Your reference to the city's cricket team is good, but more detailed examples would strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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