Some people think people can exploit animals for any purpose they need, while others do not think so. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Many believe that
animals
can be exploited for any reason
they want while
some oppose it.In this
essay,I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
Firstly
looks at,people can use
animal
for any Fix the agreement mistake
animals
reason
they need.The first point which supports this
view is progress in medical research.It is believed that animals
are essential to use
in labs for experiment purposes because experimental drugs can not be given to humans.So, animal
can be exploited in medical research.Fix the agreement mistake
animals
Secondly
,the major reason
which supports this
view is food production.Moreover
,animals
are primative
source of food for human beings.Correct your spelling
primitive
Hence
,animal use
for
this
reason
can not be negotiable on large
scale.Correct article usage
a large
Lastly
,humans have dominion over animals
.So, they can be used.
On the other hand
,Peolpe
Correct your spelling
People
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
oppose
Correct subject-verb agreement
opposes
this
argument.The first ground which favours this
point of view is animal rights.It is considered that animals
have their
Change the word
the
rights
to live.Fix the agreement mistake
right
Furthermore
,they can not be used for unethical wishes of humans because they are living creatures.They need humane treatment.In addition
, there are other environmental consequences of overexploition
.Correct your spelling
overexploitation
For instance
,extinction of animal specie
.People think that there are other ways to Fix the agreement mistake
species
development
or Replace the word
develop
to
achieve goals Fix the infinitive
apply
such
as use
of lab-grown meat and computer Add an article
the use
modeling
.
In conclusion,individuals can not Change the spelling
modelling
use
animals
for their unethical goals.Although
,Correct word choice
However
animals
cab
be used for Correct your spelling
can
impotant
and humane purposes with Correct your spelling
important
in
Change preposition
apply
guidlines
.Correct your spelling
guidelines
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introduction conclusion present
The introduction should paraphrase the essay question effectively and clearly outline the discussion points. Your introduction was too abrupt and could be improved by providing a more detailed background and clearer thesis statement.
logical structure
The logical structuring of ideas can be enhanced. Try to use clear paragraph divisions and topic sentences to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Furthermore, transitions between paragraphs should be smooth to aid the reader's understanding.
complete response
While your essay addresses the task, the response would benefit from a deeper exploration of the issues with more complex and developed arguments. Aim for a balanced discussion on both views before you provide your opinion.
supported main points
The main points need to be supported by more elaborated arguments and clear examples. Using a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary also helps to express ideas more effectively and earn a higher score in coherency and cohesion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas further to achieve a clear and comprehensive explanation. Avoid repetition of points and steer clear of vague statements. Instead, use specific examples and reasons to support your arguments.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and detailed examples to support your points. Avoid general statements or hypothetical examples; concrete, specific examples are more persuasive and demonstrate an ability to critically engage with the topic.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.