Some people think people can exploit animals for any purpose they need, while others do not think so. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #animals #purpose

Many believe that

animals

can be exploited for any

reason

they want

while

some oppose it.In

this

essay,I will discuss both views and give my opinion.

Firstly

looks at,people can

use

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

for any

reason

they need.The first point which supports

this

view is progress in medical research.It is believed that

animals

are essential to

use

in labs for experiment purposes because experimental drugs can not be given to humans.So,

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

can be exploited in medical research.

Secondly

,the major

reason

which supports

this

view is food production.

Moreover

animals

are

primative

Correct your spelling

primitive

source of food for human beings.

Hence

,animal

use

for

this

reason

can not be negotiable on

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

scale.

Lastly

,humans have dominion over

animals

.So, they can be used.

On the other hand

Peolpe

Correct your spelling

People

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

oppose

Correct subject-verb agreement

opposes

show examples

this

argument.The first ground which favours

this

point of view is animal rights.It is considered that

animals

have

their

Change the word

the

show examples

rights

Fix the agreement mistake

right

show examples

to live.

Furthermore

,they can not be used for unethical wishes of humans because they are living creatures.They need humane treatment.

In addition

, there are other environmental consequences of

overexploition

Correct your spelling

overexploitation

For instance

,extinction of animal

specie

Fix the agreement mistake

species

show examples

.People think that there are other ways to

development

Replace the word

develop

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

achieve goals

such

use

Add an article

the use

show examples

of lab-grown meat and computer

modeling

Change the spelling

modelling

show examples

. In conclusion,individuals can not

use

animals

for their unethical goals.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

animals

cab

Correct your spelling

can

show examples

be used for

impotant

Correct your spelling

important

and humane purposes with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

guidlines

Correct your spelling

guidelines

Submitted by jamalashraf45 on Fri Dec 08 2023

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introduction conclusion present

The introduction should paraphrase the essay question effectively and clearly outline the discussion points. Your introduction was too abrupt and could be improved by providing a more detailed background and clearer thesis statement.

logical structure

The logical structuring of ideas can be enhanced. Try to use clear paragraph divisions and topic sentences to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Furthermore, transitions between paragraphs should be smooth to aid the reader's understanding.

complete response

While your essay addresses the task, the response would benefit from a deeper exploration of the issues with more complex and developed arguments. Aim for a balanced discussion on both views before you provide your opinion.

supported main points

The main points need to be supported by more elaborated arguments and clear examples. Using a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary also helps to express ideas more effectively and earn a higher score in coherency and cohesion.

clear comprehensive ideas

Develop your ideas further to achieve a clear and comprehensive explanation. Avoid repetition of points and steer clear of vague statements. Instead, use specific examples and reasons to support your arguments.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate more relevant and detailed examples to support your points. Avoid general statements or hypothetical examples; concrete, specific examples are more persuasive and demonstrate an ability to critically engage with the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

212 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Exploitation
Dominion
Medical research
Ethical considerations
Animal rights
Humane treatment
Environmental consequences
Sustainable farming
Cruelty-free
Technological advancements
Lab-grown meat
Computer modeling
Cultural context
Animal welfare
Empathy
Responsible stewardship
Alternatives

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Some people think people can exploit animals for any purpose they need, while others do not think so. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Word Count

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted.

To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'Social media has had a negative impact on society.’

Many students find it harder to study when they are at university or college than when they were at school. Why is this? What can be done to solve the problem?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these point of views and give your opinion.

Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree with this opinion.